To Have and to Hold

We have been in full-scale wedding planning mode the last few weeks. My youngest, Carmen and her fiancé, Jack will be wed on July 18th. COVID-19 changed so many of their original plans, but both families have adapted and coordinated our efforts to hopefully make their day so memorable. (Please pray for great weather, specifically: sunny with no wind, as the ceremony is scheduled to be held outdoors here at the Ponderosa.)

We are also on Baby watch mode, with my son and daughter-in-love expecting their third boy. Her due date is today, so I am sitting with my phone close by waiting for news. I cannot wait to hold my fifth grandbaby in my arms!

Last weekend, we helped move my oldest daughter, and family into rental accommodations until their new home is built. Moving on Canada Day is one thing, but moving during a pandemic takes on a whole new set of challenges as well. For instance, maintaining distance from their friends who came to help them move. Hopefully, their future move will be less challenging.

This morning as I prayed and had my time of devotions, I thought I would read some past entries from my journal. Wow, what a difference a year makes! Last year, I was in the midst of chemo treatments. I was battling hard and lamenting my hair loss. I complained about my chemo “ curls” the other day, and immediately felt ashamed about it. I had prayed for my hair to grow back before the wedding and it has! Yes, the curls are a new look for me, but I should be thankful I don’t have to don a wig for my daughter’s big day.

I spent yesterday mowing our lawn, watering my garden, tidying my home. Listening to praise music as I worked, I sang with gusto, “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow…” God held me tight through last year, and He continues to hold me in His safe and comforting arms. I hardly had strength during chemo thunder to walk up and down stairs, and yesterday I accomplished all my tasks and had energy to burn! So grateful! It’s important for me to remember how far I’ve come health wise in a year, and praise God.

I had such high hopes for 2020 after my cancer battle. I told my husband I was going to do all the things I missed out on doing in 2019. Then Covid hit and we all went into lockdown. I wasn’t able to hug on my kids or grandchildren for months. I wasn’t able to get out and about, and being cooped up took an emotional and mental toll on me. Even now with some restrictions being lifted, safety protocols still must be adhered to. I find it strange to see people masked, still protective of maintaining proper physical distancing. At my daughter’s bridal shower last weekend, I desperately wanted to hug all the ladies I hadn’t seen in person in months, but we held our distance. Instead, we blew kisses and promised hugs in the future.

Of all the lessons I’ve learned over these many months of Covid lockdown is my need to be held. God held (holds) me when I face challenges, I know that full well. I also know that human touch is vital to my well being. I am thankful to my sweet husband who has hugged me well and often, especially when my arms ached to hold my kids and grandbabies. Mother’s Day marked the first time since March 14th, I hugged my children and I thought I would never let them go. I look forward to giving hugs freely to friends again. I will welcome the day when physical distancing will not be necessary.

I think about Carmen and Jack, who will both in a week’s time, promise to have and to hold each other for a lifetime. I pray as they make their vows, they will never take for granted the need to be held. To be held in the centre of God’s Will, and to hold onto God’s promises and each other when they face challenges. To hold tight to their dreams, and take hold of ideas that foster and grow them together as a couple. I want them to know that they are held in our hearts and prayers throughout their lives. I know they can “hold their own” when they need to, but I pray they know we are here whenever they need us. Our hugs are life long!

This entry was posted in Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

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