It is so hard to watch your children struggle at any age, but no more so than when your adult child is going through tough times. As a parent, all I want to do is “fix” every problem for them. Ride in like a knight in shining armour and rescue them, or fiercely defend and protect them like a Mama Bear. The hardest thing for me is to just be still, let go, and let God.

Oftentimes, it’s not about my trying to rescue, defend or protect my children, it’s being their cheerleader and encourager regardless of whatever circumstance they find themselves.

I thought when my children had moved out on their own, my parenting role would be, for the most part, done.

Wow, was I wrong!

I spend more time now before the Lord, interceding on their behalf than I ever did when they were living at home. I also keep telling them (and me) that “adulting is hard at times”. The only way to get past some of the hard times is to lean on God. He may not remove the tough situations, but He will comfort and guide and get them through to the other side of any situation. It’s a given.

Oh, but it’s hard as a parent not to circumvent God’s will for them. God allows them to make mistakes, face obstacles in the work place, face challenges raising their own kids, struggle with finances, relationships, etc., etc., so they draw near to Him for direction. I dearly want to step in and give advice based on my own experiences and “wealth of knowledge”, but rather than being helpful, this sometimes comes across as parental interference and is not always met with favour by them. God graciously reminds me that my role as a parent hasn’t diminished, it’s just changed. God is in control. My role now is to pray, listen, and if asked directly by them, offer timely advice. Those conversations need to be God-directed.

It’s not my role anymore to swoop in, take over, and exercise authority over my adult children. They are exactly where God wants them to be at this particular time in their lives. There is a divine purpose in everything He allows in their lives, and in mine.

The Mama Bear in me is fully aware that while God is constantly at work in my kid’s lives, He is also constantly at work in me! May I become a better parent as a result!