Lessons Learned – Grandparenting 101

My daughter called in a panic yesterday.  “Our furnace isn’t working!  We’re freezing here and the repairman can’t come until this evening!  Can I bring the kids over and I will bring all their homeschooling stuff so we can do school at your house?”

They arrived on my doorstep forty-five minutes later.  My daughter, probably the most organized Mom and teacher on the planet, set the kids up with their school lessons and gratefully accepted a cup of coffee, before she began teaching her online homeschooling classes to several more students in cyberspace.  Not only does she teach her own two children, run her own day home, but also teaches forty-one other students of all ages online.  Truly I am astounded by her!  Still, she seemed genuinely grateful that I was home and available when she needed my help yesterday, even if it was just providing a warm place to “do school”.  I chuckled remembering when I was asked to “help” her in the past.  Let’s just say, I’ve come a long, long way since then in learning Grandparenting 101 lessons!

I knew when I became a grandparent that I would be called upon to babysit and care for my children’s children. I live so close to my kids that I am blessed to be able to see my four grandbabies often, and it is my delight and pleasure to babysit them regularly so their parents can have a much deserved date night or a brief respite from their parenting duties. I have learned much about looking after my grandbabies over these years, but it is based on lessons learned during those first few occasions I was charged with their caregiving. My very first foray into having grandbabies “sleep over” at Grandma’s humbled and challenged me in ways I never imagined.

My daughter dropped off my two angel babies early in the morning.  #1 Grandson and #2 Granddaughter aged five and two respectively then, burst through the door excitedly and helped their mother to unload a trunk load of supplies into my entranceway. Suitcases filled with “jammies”, toys, several changes of clothing, toiletries, food and snacks were dumped unceremoniously on the floor. I was slightly taken aback by the mass quantity of stuff she had packed for an overnight visit. “Do you really think they’ll need all this?” I asked. #2 was already opening up her suitcase to show me all the toys she had brought with her. My daughter rolled her eyes and thrust a long handwritten note into my hands. It looked like a minute by minute schedule for me to follow to assist me in the care of the children. I was slightly offended. It was like she didn’t even comprehend that I had raised her and her two siblings quite competently. “I think I can handle this.” She just rolled her eyes again when I barely looked at the piece of paper.  She gave each child a hug and kiss and pointed at the list in my hand.  “Just follow the instructions on my list and you’ll be okay,” she said.  I waved at her but tossed the paper aside the moment she left.

The first hour of the kid’s visit was filled with childish laughter and them contentedly playing with me and all the toys they had brought along as well as all the toys I had amassed over the past few years in a downstairs room that my husband and I had converted from guest bedroom to children’s playroom. We figured it would be a great designated space for the grandchildren to play in whenever they visited.  A bunk bed was set up on one wall and shelves and bins would keep the toys and subsequent mess confined to one area. Within ten minutes, there was not one inch of floor not covered by toys, and to garner more area they spread out into the kitchen and family room. As the spread of toys grew to encompass more living space, I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic.

My grandson stopped in mid play and announced quite adamantly that he was thirsty and demanded green juice. “We ALWAYS have green juice in the morning,” he declared. I didn’t even know what that was, but I rummaged through the grocery bag his mom had left and found to his delight a bottle of green vegetable juice. No sooner had I poured the juice into a cup, he accidentally spilled the entire contents down himself and all over one of my cushioned stools at the breakfast bar. I searched in his suitcase for a change of clothes but discovered that all he had packed were some swim trunks. I suppose his mother never thought that HE would need a change of clothes. I stuck him in his swim shorts while I mopped the floor, blotted the green mess out of the cushion, and did the first load of laundry.

My granddaughter had been faithfully going “pee in the potty” until we were seated nicely for green juice at the breakfast bar. She sheepishly announced that she felt wet. It was an understatement! The tidal pool on and under my other cushioned stool indicated that this child had a bladder bigger than any other two year old on the face of the earth.

So after changing her, I mopped the floor yet again, scrubbed another seat cushion and put in the second load of laundry. No sooner had I started the washer than #2 declared she had to use the potty. Noticing skid marks in the Disney princess panties I had just put on her, I decided to do a preventative strike by putting her in Paw Patrol pull-ups. It was a good call! Five minutes later my family room smelled like a barn because #2 had gone #2! A quick change back to Princess and she was ready to play…

For five minutes and then she declared she was still pooping and peeing…

I sighed and piled up a third load of laundry.

When my son, their uncle, dropped in unexpectedly, he took one look at the state of my house as well as my frazzled expression and took pity on me.  Grabbing their coats and shoes, he took his niece and nephew to the playground so Grandma could fold the first two loads of laundry and prepare grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch.

When they returned, not the least bit tired from their fun at the park, my son smiled apologetically and then abandoned me so he could go to work. I sent the two cherubs to wash the playground dirt from their faces and hands, only to walk in two minutes later to a full scale water fight going on in the guest bathroom. My guest towels were now covered with small, black, hand prints and the mirror and walls were dripping. I shrugged in defeat and threw the towels in the laundry basket and scooted the grandbabies out to have their lunch.

My granddaughter took one look at her sandwich and started to cry. I was mortified. What had caused this sudden burst of tears? “She won’t eat that!” #1 Grandson bluntly said. “She only eats fruit and yoghurt for lunch.” I immediately removed the offensive sandwich from her sight. Thankfully her Mama had packed the necessary food for her and while they happily ate their lunches, I pulled out the long note that my daughter had written and I read it carefully. Upon first review, I learned that I could have saved myself a couple of loads of laundry had I followed my daughter’s instructions by using the sippy cups with lids she had provided for green juice. I rolled my eyes as I read her suggestion to put my granddaughter into pull-ups before she drank any liquids. Lesson learned.

After perusing the note in more minute detail, my original plan of making macaroni and cheese for dinner that night fell by the wayside. That had been a staple dinner for my kids when they were little, but my grandchildren obviously did not share their parent’s culinary likes and dislikes. #2 did not like pasta and #1 would eat pasta but wasn’t fussy about the cheese. I dug again into the bottomless grocery bag my daughter had meticulously put together, and I silently praised my well-prepared daughter for the abundance of provisions that would ultimately satisfy their hunger.

After lunch, following my daughter’s wise timeline, the kids played quietly for forty-five minutes.  Then, in accordance to her daily schedule, we sang the “clean-up” song, the words and music provided to me by my daughter; we tidied up the toys that had been strewn about the house. I plugged in their favorite cartoon DVD she had packed for them to watch during “quiet time”, and then I stationed myself comfortably on the couch between my two grandbabies. Putting my arms around them both, I hugged them to my sides. Within minutes #1 was asleep, his head heavy on my lap, and #2 was curled up in a ball on the other side of me sighing her perfect, angelic, princess sighs.

For that brief period of perfect bliss, I willingly immersed myself in the overwhelming joy of affection I feel for those precious children. I was transported to the time my house was filled with my own three children’s childish laughter and the countless times they were curled up like this beside me after a full day of playtime.  It seemed so long ago, I had all but forgotten what it was like to care for young children but now it was starting to flood back to me.  I sighed with contentment and cherished this quiet reprieve before the action would start up again.  I wish I could say that it was smooth sailing from then on until their mother picked them up the next morning, but I knew even as I held them close that I’d be consulting that long note several more times before the day was out. I was a realist after all.

They did eventually awaken and proceeded to spread their toys in even more wild abandon around the house. When Grandpa came home from work, he distracted them with hugs and tickles while I made supper. The rough-housing continued with even more gusto after they had eaten.  When #2 threatened to upchuck supper because she had laughed too hard, I called a halt to Grandpa’s play that was supposed to tire them out but only succeeded in riling them up.  It was Grandpa’s turn to have quiet cuddles with his grandbabies until I was finally able to convince them all that it was time for bed.  Way past the time they normally went to bed, the children yawned, sleepily going limp as I wrestled them into their jammies.  Still, once they were dressed for bed it took time for them to settle in for the night.  There was one more trip to the potty and several more storybooks read. After persistent begging on their part, and promises they would fall right to sleep if I acquiesced to their demands, I allowed one last glass of green juice for both of them before they were at last contentedly snuggled under their blankies, with their teeth brushed, and prayers said.

I tip-toed from their room, and the house seemed remarkably silent at last. I was totally exhausted but decided to re-read my daughter’s note one final time. Somehow I had missed “Don’t let them drink anything after 7 p.m.”

Lesson learned when in the middle of the night #1 went #1 in his bed.

 

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A Life Lesson From Washing Windows

A Chinook blew into town this week, a welcome respite from the unseasonably cold and snowy weather we have experienced in Southern Alberta most of September and October.  The snow-eating Chinook, has melted most of our snow here on the Ponderosa, and has allowed us to bask in balmy temperatures above 20 degrees Celsius (that’s 68 F. to my American friends).  The other day I decided to take advantage of the warm temperatures and tackle a chore I had been procrastinating for a year: wash my windows.

Okay, before all the Martha Stewarts out there judge me, I do clean my windows on the inside of the house fairly regularly, but it’s the outside that is the real chore.  I got a couple of estimates this past Spring on what it would cost to get some professionals in to clean all the windows of my home.  I nearly fell over at the cost!  So, being basically cheap, I said “thanks, but no thanks” and decided to tackle the job on my own.  Well, at least the windows I can reach…I’m afraid of heights so I’m not climbing any ladders for the second story ones.  I’ll live with the dirt.

First, I decided to see if there was a sure-proof, streak-free method to get the job done.  Pinterest has a billion ways to clean windows and after trying a few of the environmentally friendly ones on my inside windows I decided that none of them work to my streak-free satisfaction.  Store-bought products also did not give me the desired streak-free shine.  I was becoming a bit discouraged.  So I thought I’d combine some blue Dawn dishwashing liquid, with a bit of the jet-dry stuff I put in my dishwasher.  I figured if it’s good for my glassware, it’s got to be good for my windows.  Filled up my bucket with hot water, got a scrubbing brush and squeegee and made my way outside.

After spending several hours scrubbing, squeegeeing and yes, groaning while putting my unused muscles through an unfamiliar workout regimen, I completed the arduous task and stepped back to admire my handiwork.  The Dawn-jet-dry mixture had done a fairly good job of cleaning my windows, but no matter how many times I washed and rewashed and squeegeed, inside and outside, I still saw visible streaks.  To add insult to injury, a squawking magpie did a fly-by and mocking my efforts decided to deposit an offering onto one newly washed window!

That settled it!  I threw up my hands in defeat and declared to the circling magpie that my entire window-washing escapade had been an effort in futility.  I dumped out the dirty water, poured myself an iced-tea and then fumed silently while the Chinook wind blew dirt back up on my newly-cleaned windows. I determined I was never going to waste any more time and effort trying to strive for perfection at a task that was never going to meet my standards no matter how hard I tried!

As I sat and seethed over my iced-tea, my husband came home and I pointed at my windows accusingly.  “Look!” I said exasperated, seeing only the visible streaks on the glass. He beamed with delight and patted my shoulder, “You cleaned the windows!  They look awesome!”

I did a double-take and grinned. I had been so focused and disappointed by all the streaks, the flaws, and the imperfections on the windows that I couldn’t see the improvements!  Isn’t that a great lesson for us in life?

Thank-You, Lord, for my husband who appreciates my efforts, and loves me, just as You love me, despite my noticeable imperfections!

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”  Colossians 3:17

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Most Misinterpreted Scripture Verses – Matthew 7:1

“Judge not, lest you be judged.” he said somewhat proudly, and lit a cannabis cigarette.  The news report continued to show various people in our nation’s capital lighting up to celebrate the legalization of pot in Canada today.  I just shook my head and changed the channel.

Matthew 7:1 will likely be quoted many more times in the days, weeks and months ahead as Canadians negotiate the highs (pardon the pun), and lows of what the legalization of marijuana in this country will mean for its citizens.  So, for those who feel the need to quote scripture to defend their stance for or against the use of pot, let’s just ensure we’re using this misinterpreted verse correctly, shall we?

Matthew 7:1 is one of the most frequently misused verses often declaring in its premise that Jesus told us not to judge.  Since we are all sinners, who of us have the right to cast the first stone, or judge someone else?  Verse 1 is often used to defend against pointing out a person’s wrongdoing, but if we dive further into the context of this passage, Jesus is not forbidding judgement but is pointing out the hypocrisy in those who improperly judge.

Merriam Webster defines “hypocrisy” as: a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not : behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel.  In this case Jesus is rebuking the hypocrisy of the Pharisees who were quick to point out the sins of others but were unwilling themselves to be held accountable to the same standards they insisted on imposing on others.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your won eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  Matthew 7:1-5

My father had a saying when I was growing up: “Don’t do as I do, do as I tell you.”  My Dad did not want my brother and I to make the same mistakes he made when he was growing up.  He wanted to shield us from the heartache of making poor decisions.  It was particularly confusing when he told us to not do something, when he was at the same time doing the thing he was telling us not to do.  For example, we were told that smoking was bad for us and we should never smoke, yet he and my mother both smoked.

Christians have a hard time with Matthew 7:1.  It’s easier to let things pass by and say, “Who am I to judge?” because we are fearful that we will be labeled hypocrites if our own sins are found out.  So the question remains, should we judge at all?  Scripture tells us that believers are to judge – but to do so in a righteous manner.

I read a commentary recently with regards to the “plank” and “speck” in someone’s eye.  I found the analogy quite eye-opening, literally!  The closer an object gets to the eye, the larger it appears – a tiny splinter from a distance is log-sized if embedded in one’s eye.  So a fault or sin in one’s own life is a far greater problem than the same fault in another person’s life.  So Jesus is stating quite clearly in Matthew 7:3-4 that removing the obstruction or “plank” from your own eye is vital before you can righteously judge someone else.

Merriam Webster defines “righteousness” as: acting in accord with divine or moral law: free from guilt or sin.  Several Bible verses show that a righteous person (one who does not conform to the world any longer but strives to follow God wholeheartedly), can make a righteous judgement.  Paul tells us to “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.  For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.”  2 Timothy 4:2-3

Christians are commanded to make decisions, to discern between good and bad or to establish what is good and best.  In other words, the ability to think with discernment is synonymous with an ability to think biblically.  John Calvin says that one “who judges according to the Word and law of the Lord, and forms his judgment by the rule of charity, always begins with subjecting himself to examination, and preserves a proper medium and order in his judgments.”  Christians can make judgments without hypocrisy if we live a life surrendered to God, repentant and humble before Him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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