You Know You’re Getting Older When….

Today I celebrate yet another birthday…as someone said to me, I’m on the other side of the hill and sliding fast!  So to celebrate my “slide”, I thought I’d poke a little fun at myself as well as those of us who are slip sliding away a little faster than we would like to be.

You Know You’re Getting Older When….

  • all you exercise is caution
  • you develop a taste for bran flakes
  • you discover a face cream that makes you look younger…it gives you acne!
  • you start to be an old hand at the game of life, but start losing your grip
  • being over the hill means your speed is picking up
  • you go to bed before your children
  • you sit in a rocking chair but can’t get it to go
  • you remember that God gave you two ends – one to think with and one to sit on and you realize which one you use the most!
  • you believe that age is a question of mind over matter…if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter
  • you believe life is made up of sleeping, eating, and interruptions
  • you believe life is like a grammar lesson; the present tense and the past perfect
  • being prudent is not going to see a doctor who has let his office plants die
  • the older you get, the longer it takes to get to the door if opportunity knocks
  • being in the groove only means you’re in a rut
  • you realize that retirement means half as much money and twice as much husband
  • to do nothing all day is followed by resting afterwards
  • working gives you something to look forward to…like not working!
  • you realize that life is like a dogsled team…if you’re not the lead dog the scenery never changes
  • you wonder how you can soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys!
  • snap judgements would be all right if they didn’t come unsnapped so often
  • you can’t decide which rock group sounds better…gall stones or kidney stones?
  • you’re so hard of hearing that people can say things behind your back right to your face!
  • the doctor sees you naked more often than your husband does
  • the term “learning to let go” takes on a whole new meaning right after a breakfast of fruit and fibre
  • the saying “to be or not to be” describes your many trips to the washroom
  • “willing and able” means you’re just as willing but not as able
  • you wish you could do it all over if you could remember what it was you did before
  • you buy gingko biloba for memory but keep forgetting to take it
  • the best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes
  • you gave up jogging for health because your thighs kept rubbing together setting your support pantyhose on fire
  • all else fails.

If you have another apt phrase that I have not included here just leave a comment.  I’ll add it to the list!

My husband sent along the following bumper stickers that he thought I could add to this list:

  • In dog years…I’m dead!
  • Fishmore & Dolittle (Retirement Planning & Consultants)
  • Young at Heart – slightly older in other places.
  • GEEZER (ge-zer) – noun. slang.  Definition: Not young.  Not dead.  Somewhere in between.
  • I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I’m going.
  • At my age…”Gettin’ any?” means sleep!
  • I’m retired…I was tired yesterday.  I’m tired again today.
  • At my age…happy hour is a nap!
  • Live each day like it’s your last.  One day, you’ll get it right.

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