Friday Funnies – Kids Say Funny Things in Church

Last week I posted some funny church signs.  Thought today I’d share some funny things kids say at church…out of the mouth of Ever-Laughing Lifebabes!  Enjoy!

Casey asked her Sunday School teacher a question: “If the people of Israel are Israelites, and the people of Canaan are Canaanites, are the people of Paris called Parasites?”

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A Sunday School teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.  She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.  Then she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?   A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up!”

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The Sunday School teacher had just told her class the story of Mary, Joseph and Jesus fleeing into Egypt to escape Herod, and then she asked her students to draw a picture about the story.  She came to a little boy’s drawing and was slightly puzzled to see he had drawn a picture of an airplane so she asked him to explain.  Joey responded, “Well, this is the “Flight into Egypt”.  Here in the back of the plane are Mary, Joseph and Jesus.”

 The teacher pointed to the stick figure leaning out of the cockpit of the plane and asked, “Who is this person?”

“Oh,”  Joey responded, “That’s Pontius the Pilot!”

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One Sunday morning, the Pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.  The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.  The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the Pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.”

“Good morning, Pastor.” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.  “Pastor McGhee, what is this?”  Alex asked.

“Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.  Little Alex’s voice was barely audible when he asked, “Which service, the 8:30 or the 11:00?”

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Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.  Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Mrs. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

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A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on.  Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”

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A six-year old was overheard reciting the Lord’s Prayer at a church service: “And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who passed trash against us.”

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The Sunday School teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal.  She explained how Elijah had built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar.  And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar.  He had them do this four times.  “Now,” said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”

A little girl raised her hand and replied enthusiastically, “To make gravy!”

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A Sunday School teacher asked her preschool class as they were on their way to the church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

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A mother was teaching her three-year old the Lord’s Prayer.  For several evenings at bedtime the little girl repeated the prayer after her mother.  One night she said she was ready to say it by herself.  The mother listened with pride as her child carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some E-mail.  Amen.”

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