What Now?

Posted on June 3, 2016 by Lynn

Retirement-Quotes-2I remember after I graduated high school saying to myself, “What now?”  Truly the title, “commencement ceremony” is so applicable when one graduates because it is not really the end of a journey of twelve years but a stepping stone to the next chapter of a young adult’s life.

I witnessed yet another wonderful commencement ceremony recently at my school and it was especially poignant for me since some of those students I have known and taught since they were in Grade Five!  So, naturally one of the first questions I asked them after the ceremony was, “What will you be doing next year?”  One boy has been accepted into two universities, another is planning on traveling, another is pursuing a Science degree, another wants to be a teacher and then there are a few who honestly do not know what they are doing and just need to take the summer to figure out what God has in store for them next.

They are young, they have their whole future ahead of them.  I remember so well the excitement and the trepidation of beginning a new journey after graduating.  I almost envy them…

However, I am facing a “What Now?” question for my future.

My contract with my school ends in the middle of June.  My husband has been home this past year due to the economic downturn here in Alberta.  We’re not “spring chickens” as they say and many have asked if we will “retire”.  What does that even mean?

My husband and I celebrated thirty-seven years of wedded bliss yesterday and much of our conversation over dinner was trying to answer the “what now?” question.

I can’t say I’m ready to retire, neither is my husband.  We know we have decisions to make in our future and we admit that we’re excited and trepidatious at the same time.

I’m not ready to face that particular rocking-chair journey in retirement yet, sitting on a front porch and wiling away the days.  (I am being facetious here…I know retirement is not all about that…I plan on being VERY active in retirement).  However, now that I am faced with that “what now?” question after I am done teaching at this school, I can’t help but feel much like some of those grade twelve graduates: I just need the summer to figure out what God has in store for me next.

So I plan to spend a lot of time praying for direction this summer.  I want to spend time immersed in the Word.  I want to lean on His strength and His wisdom and I am looking at this new stage of life as a  commencement into a new adventure with Him.

Let the journey begin!

 

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When Someone Disappoints You

Posted on May 12, 2016 by Lynn

fruit-of-the-spirit-tree11I don’t know how many people I’ve talked to recently who are grieving over a broken relationship.  Parents grieving over a wayward child, a prodigal son or daughter, who has turned away from God and from their family.  Young couples who went into a relationship with lofty dreams only to be floored by unmet expectations and poor judgments.  Long-time friends who bicker because of jealousy and petty issues.  Employees who complain about employers and vice versa…neither understanding, nor making any effort to understand the stresses each goes through in the work place.  The list is very long but there are similarities in each scenario: we grieve when someone disappoints us and the hurt can be debilitating.

There is a physical toll on a body when a person is under significant stress.  I found that out very recently.  I experienced shortness of breath and chest pain so bad my husband had to take me to the hospital where the doctors ran a battery of tests to determine whether or not I was having a cardiac incident.  When that was ruled out, they thought I might have a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lungs).  Thankfully, that too was ruled out, as was TB, or cancer.  They are still monitoring me carefully, but it remains one of those “mysteries” to diagnose.  I’m pretty sure it is just my body reacting to stress in my life.

There is a mental toll on a body when a person is under significant stress.  I know this to be true.  I do not think clearly.  I am weary and at times depressed and carry it around like a dark canvass I’ve painted for myself, devoid of colour.  Sleeplessness accompanies me adding even more to my numbing tiredness.  There are days it would be just as easy to not get out of bed than to face the world.

There is a spiritual toll on a body when a person is under significant stress.  Some days it takes almost too much effort to pray and seek solace in the Word.  I wonder if He is even listening?  Does He even care?

All that, and more, is the end result of someone who is going through significant stress, and especially if that is the result of having a broken relationship with someone in their life.

The Bible is clear about what to do if you are stressed and struggling over a broken relationship:  “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:5-8.

There should be no such thing in any relationship with the attitude of being “one up” on the other.  It is important to humble oneself, even if you KNOW you’re in the right.  I have been telling my Grade Six class as we focus on the Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness, that a relationship is more important than determining who is right or wrong in a dispute.  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Proverbs 15:1

We had a little pushing incident between two young men in school the other day, a joke gone awry, and when I pulled them both aside I did not ask who started it, although one boy admitted he was the instigator, I asked how they could have prevented it from escalating to a point where they were pushing each other in anger.  Immediately the memory verse (Proverbs 15:1) came to mind and they both admitted they could have “walked away” and not allowed the incident to affect their relationship further.  They apologized to one another, and a few minutes later they were sitting side by side working on homework together as if nothing had happened.

A school-yard incident is one thing, I find children tend to remember and apply lessons learned more readily than adults.  As we get older, we hold grudges longer.  We don’t want to admit fault.  Pride gets in the way.  It’s not easy to back down when we have been wronged…we call it “righteous anger”…but is it?

 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”  Luke 6: 27-28

It is so hard to LOVE someone, do good and bless someone who has for some reason or another become your adversary.  However, I have discovered that prayer changes my perspective about someone and when I pray for them it is very difficult to remain adversarial.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

It is important that, no matter the circumstances, I forgive someone who I perceive has wronged me in some way.  Forgiveness is one thing, forgetting is quite another.  I can forgive but it may take a very long time for me to fully trust that person again.

“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”  2 Timothy 2:24-26

Some think that being a Christian means that we are to just allow people to walk all over us.  We are not the world’s punching bags!  Turning the other cheek is one thing, but it is important that we rebuke in love those people who are clearly in opposition to God’s teachings.  As the verse in 2 Timothy states clearly, we pray that those people will “come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil”.

If you are feeling the stresses of not being in a right relationship with someone, remember the verses I’ve quoted and make every attempt to LOVE, FORGIVE, BE KIND,…wait…does this sound familiar?….

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”  Galatians 5:22-23

Eating THAT kind of fruit is the HEALTHY thing to do!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How to Conduct a Good Parent-Teacher Interview

Posted on May 5, 2016 by Lynn

Parent Teacher InterviewsI’ve sat on both sides of the desk when it comes to parent-teacher interviews.  I’ve been that anxious parent who must meet with a teacher to discuss my child’s academic progress and behaviour in the classroom.  I admit to being overly sensitive when it comes to my child…after all in MY eyes they are PERFECT, right?  Wrong.

I’ve also been that anxious teacher who must meet with a parent to discuss their child’s academic progress and behaviour in the classroom.  I admit to being overly sensitive when it comes to defending my evaluations when it comes to their child…after all in THEIR eyes their child is PERFECT, right?  Wrong.

It’s not easy for a parent to hear anything negative about their child.  Believe me, nothing puts me more on the defensive if someone is criticizing my child.  It’s even more offensive if MY parenting is questioned.  I am doing my best and I pray for God’s wisdom every single day on how to raise up my child.

It’s not easy for a teacher to hear anything negative about their teaching methods.  Believe me, nothing puts me more on the defensive if someone is criticizing me personally.  I am trying to do my very best in the classroom and I pray for God’s wisdom every single day on how to teach my students effectively.

So, I will give you some tried and true advice, from both sides of the desk, on how to conduct a good Parent-Teacher Interview.  (If you have some other good hints, please leave a comment!)

Teachers:

  1. Prior to the meeting, PRAY.  I cannot emphasize that enough.  It is vital to have the meeting undergirded with prayer prior to the appointment, during and after the meeting.
  2. Ensure that you have samples of children’s work to show to parents if needed.  Have one sample be a child’s best effort piece, and then have one that shows some struggles in understanding or lack of effort.
  3. Make sure your classroom and your desk is neat and tidy and dress professionally.  Make sure their first impression of you is a good one.  (I make sure I have some mints handy too for myself and for my parents if they would like one.)
  4. Do not sit behind your desk.  (Sitting behind your desk causes a perceived authoritative boundary or barrier between you and your parents.)  Instead, set up a couple of chairs, or sit in student desks so you and the parent are on “even” terms.   If you believe you will have an adversarial parent visit, ensure that an administrator is present at the meeting.  A school administrator will act as a “buffer” and should be on hand to mediate and listen objectively to both the parent and the teacher.
  5. Put your parents at ease the moment they come to the interview.  Meet your parent(s) at the door to your classroom.  Smile and extend your hand in greeting.
  6. First comments about the child should ALWAYS be positive.  Talk about the ways their student contributes in a positive manner to the class.
  7. I tend to start my interviews with: “Do you have any particular concerns about your child here at school?”  It allows the parent to voice specifics and allows you to get a better perspective what they focus on and value as important to their child’s success at school.  (Some parents are all about academics, some are all about their child’s social interactions, some are all about behaviour issues, and, this is important, some parents just want to talk and be validated that they are doing the best they can at home under trying circumstances.)
  8. When you speak about your concerns about the child’s behaviour or academics, remember that the parent and you are partners in helping the child achieve maximum success in school.  Treat them accordingly.  Using phrases like:
    1. I appreciate how you have helped (name of child) at home….
    2. I want to partner with you to help (name of child) become successful at… here are some ways you can work with your child on at home…
  9. Have some specific websites or resources available to share with your parents that will assist them understanding curriculum or assist with homework.  (Here in Alberta, we have most of our elementary textbooks online, so if a child forgets to bring home books, their textbooks can be accessed online.  We also have ExamBank, a great resource to take practice tests.  There are also numerous resources for the novel studies, and free worksheet websites to help with grammar, punctuation, and parts of speech.)
  10. Conclude the interview with sharing another positive observation about their child, and if possible  follow-up a week or two after the interview.  (I usually like to send an email, thanking the parent for their time in coming in and commenting on improvements seen in class a couple of weeks after the interview.)

Parents:

  1. Prior to the meeting, PRAY.  I cannot emphasize that enough.  It is vital to have the meeting undergirded with prayer prior to the appointment, during and after the meeting.
  2. Do not bring your child to the interview (or younger/older siblings) to a meeting unless you have been directed to do so by the teacher.  An interview that includes the child will be directed by the teacher in a far different manner than a frank discussion between a parent and a teacher.  It will be more inclusive of the child and he/she will be an active participant.  Also turn OFF your smart phone.
  3. Try to come to the interview with the attitude that the teacher has the best interests of their students in mind and so the teacher is not “out to get” your child.  Starting a meeting as an adversary will not be productive.
  4. To put a teacher at ease, start with a positive comment on how your child is responding positively in the classroom.  Teachers need those encouraging words!
  5. Be prepared to listen as well as talk.  Express your concerns with the idea that you and the teacher are partners and it is a team effort to ensure your child will succeed in the classroom.  Say things like: “How can I partner with you to help (child) become successful in class?”  “Do you have suggestions on how I can work at home with (child) on homework or behaviour?”
  6. Ensure you actually do take the teacher’s suggestions if he/she gives you some.  Nothing is more frustrating for a teacher than when there has been a good exchange of ideas at the interview but no follow-up at home.
  7. DO NOT speak unkindly or disrespectfully about the teacher at home after the interview in front of your child or with other parents.  It causes considerable problems in the classroom if a child loses respect for their teacher and this can impede learning for your child as well as other children in the class.  A good rule of thumb is: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  (The same is true for teachers speaking about children and parents in the staff room…recognize that there are appropriate and inappropriate times to talk about specifics but gossip is NEVER okay!)
  8. Speak about your concerns in a gentle manner.  Teachers will go on the defensive if they feel they are being “attacked”.  If you have a serious concern about a teacher (their character, their teaching style, etc.), ask before the interview to have a school administrator present at the meeting.  DO NOT bring your child to that kind of a meeting (see point 6).
  9. Stick to the topic at hand.  The parent-teacher interview is to discuss the learning environment and the progress your child is making in the classroom.  There is a limited time allotted for interviews and you don’t want to get side-tracked and talk about topics that have nothing to do with your child’s learning.  If a teacher gets side-tracked, you have the right to say: “Shall we just limit our conversation to helping my child achieve success in the classroom?”
  10. Tell the teacher at the end of the interview that you will pray for them as they teach in the classroom.  Knowing I have praying parents empowers me in the classroom!  It is the kindest thing a parent can do for a teacher!

 

 

 

 

 

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