Being a “Thriver” (7)

Posted on June 18, 2012 by Lynn

Laughter is the best medicine!

A man walks into the lingerie department of Sears and walks up to the woman behind the counter and whispers in embarrassment: “I want to buy a bra for my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asks the clerk.

“Type?” inquires the man. “There is more than one type?”

“Look around,” says the saleslady, and like Vanna White moves her arms in a long sweeping motion showing off a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material.

“Actually, Sir, even with all this variety, there are really only three types of bras, “ replies the sales clerk.

Confused the man asks, “Oh, and what are they?”

The saleslady says, “The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?”

Still confused the man asks, “What’s the difference between them?”

The lady responds, “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.”

Another humourous story I can share was when my daughter, Laurelle, was proof-reading a poignant email I was getting ready to send to a friend just prior to my first surgery. I had written,

“Just as Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemene, I too wish to have this “cup” taken from me…”

Of course my meaning was that I would not have to go through this cancer journey at all, but Laurelle started laughing after reading that line.

“Mom, think about what you just wrote,” she said, “have this “cup” taken from you…breast cancer?…cup….get it??”

We rolled on the floor laughing.

I never want to diminish the seriousness of cancer. I don’t make light of the disease at all, however, for me it became a choice of whether I wanted to wallow in self-pity, curl up in a tight ball and give up, which I would have done if I had counted on my own strength to get through the day…or I could use every method of ammunition afforded me by God to fight this terrible disease. One powerful weapon in my arsenal was laughter.

Posted in Hope through Humour, Inspiration & Devotion, Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Being a “Thriver” (6)

Posted on June 15, 2012 by Lynn

The day of my first chemo treatment my husband gave me a guardian angel figurine…this started me on my angel collection (that now numbers well over 50). I suppose word got around that I liked collecting angels and so many people started giving me little “get well” gifts (mostly of angels) that they thought I’d like. I found that each angel seemed to mark a different milestone in my “personal journey with cancer”. I started to see them as being little spiritual markers that I could look at and be encouraged when I remembered how many people were cheering me on, and how each of those little momentos represented hundreds of prayers lifted up on my behalf.

Throughout the year of surgery and chemotherapy, friends and church family rallied around me by praying, sending cards, letters and emails of encouragement. The ladies’ group put together a basket of chocolate and around each chocolate bar was a scripture verse! I think I had close to 10 lbs. of chocolate! They also provided healthy meals for my family, they cleaned my home, did my laundry, baby sat and countless other acts of kindness. Their selfless ministering contributed to my healing. The Bible teaches us to care for each other as God in Christ cared for us. My church family poured themselves out in caring for me and my family.

One of the first questions I asked initially was “Why me?” Why did this happen to me? Doctors often have no idea how to answer that question. In my case, the doctor looked me straight in the eye and said, “It’s just dumb luck.” Alternative therapists tend to give their patients a greater sense of personal significance than they get from doctors and are rarely at a loss for an answer when asked the “why me?” question. Contrast the bleakness of “It’s just dumb luck”, to “Your charkras are unbalanced because of a recent spiritual upset,” or “You’ve been eating too many yin foods and not enough yang”. Sounds ridiculous but people are searching for a logical answer to the “why” question and in search for answers may be willing to grasp at any answer that seems reasonable and that’s why many woman in desperation turn to alternative healers.

In my case, one of my closest friends answered the “why me?” question by saying, “Why not you?” This was a profound statement for me and one I have shared many times with others who are facing a particular hardship in life. There are no guarantees in life. God does not promise that life will be perfect. In fact He says the exact opposite, that we can expect persecution and hardship, we live in a fallen world and our struggles, whatever they may be, may be a part of what He means to pick up our cross to follow Him.

Psychologists will tell you that many of their women clients are counselled primarily because they have a deep dissatisfaction with their own bodies. At the Tom Baker Cancer Centre in Calgary there is a whole psycho-social department geared towards women who have gone through breast cancer…why?…because women who suffer from breast cancer are radically changed, outwardly because of surgery, and inwardly as they try to cope with their disfigurement and the disease itself. They no longer feel they are a complete woman, and they struggle trying to come to grips with not being the perfect picture of a woman anymore. Not to mention the fear that accompanies the knowledge that you have a life-threatening illness.

Losing a breast is life-altering for a woman. Cancer is traumatic in itself, but the implications of losing a breast that is linked with femininity and sexuality is a devastating loss to women. It is traumatic enough to go bathing suit shopping but the trauma is compounded when you have to ask a “sweet young thing” where the “special” bathing suits are.

Before I had reconstructive surgery I wore a breast prosthetic so I would look and feel more balanced under clothes. Unfortunately MY prosthetic had a habit of shifting every so often and once when I was tying my daughter’s shoe laces for her, it actually popped out of my shirt and landed at her feet. Needless to say, you either laugh or you cry when things like that happen and I chose to laugh.

Believe it or not there were times I simply just praised God for the gift of laughter during my journey with cancer. I didn’t know it then but there are all kinds of studies that conclude that people who have a positive attitude through their journey with cancer have a much greater survival rate than those who have a “woe-is-me” attitude. I totally relate to the author of Ecclesiastes when he writes about a “time to laugh and a time to cry”…I certainly did cry…that’s human…but there were countless times I laughed and when I did not have it in me to find joy in my circumstances I recruited others to send me jokes and riddles and silly pictures and stories that would just make me laugh out loud and feel better.

Here is one such joke that was sent to me by a good friend.

HOW TO PREPARE FOR A MAMMOGRAM

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, and even if they have had them before, there is fear. But there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home.

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat (just in case the first time wasn’t effective).

EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again. You are now properly prepared!

 

 

 

 

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Being a “Thriver” (5)

Posted on June 14, 2012 by Lynn

There was an initial reluctance in sharing with my church family (or anyone else) that I had cancer. I’m not entirely sure why I hesitated to be open about the diagnosis, perhaps it was a combination of fear and pride. I was fearful of how people would react and my pride hindered me from sharing too much of myself personally because that showed my vulnerability and weakness. However, the Lord led me to embrace my church family and allow them to minister to me, a reciprocal blessing of sorts, my being blessed by their ministrations and they being blessed in their service to me.

I think too there was an embarrassment involved in sharing I had breast cancer. Let’s face it, we’re talking breasts here! In fact, when I initially told people I had breast cancer, some people refused to look me in the face…their eyes seemed to travel down to my chest area all the time. I told a friend of mine (a male friend actually) after a particularly challenging conversation trying to maintain eye – contact… ”I wonder where you’d be looking if your friend was diagnosed with prostate cancer?”

Perhaps my greatest concern was how to tell my children of my condition. My oldest daughter, Laurelle was sixteen at the time, my son, Brett was eight and my youngest, Carmen was in kindergarten. Laurelle was home when I got the phone call from the doctor telling me I had cancer so we wept together and yet I was surprised by her optimism and strength. Little did I know that she was putting up a good outward front to the world, especially to me, but inside she was breaking up emotionally and absolutely terrified. It was Laurelle’s reaction to the news, even though I know now it was a great testament to her acting ability,that bolstered me to tell the little ones. We were open and honest with them and used the correct terminology and we were as calm and optimistic as we could be with them. As a result, the children were not afraid of the unknown, they joined us in the battle. It did not make the year any easier for them but we were unified in our resolve to stand together as a family and support each other through the good and bad times. An example of that was when my five year old daughter was asked by a helper Mom in her kindergarten class how I was doing, and Carmen matter-of-factly said, “Oh my Mom is doing fine, she just has breast cancer!”

One of many things God taught me through the experience was not to be afraid of cancer. I remember in my own home when my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, my Dad would not speak the word: he often referred to it as the “C” word, or he called it “Mom’s illness”. To me that just gives cancer a “power” over you that it does not deserve. A friend sent me this poem two weeks after my first surgery that puts cancer in the right perspective:

Cancer is so limited…

It cannot cripple love,

It cannot shatter hope,

It cannot corrode faith,

It cannot eat away peace,

It cannot destroy confidence,

It cannot kill friendship,

It cannot shut out memories,

It cannot silence courage,

It cannot invade the soul,

It cannot reduce eternal life,

It cannot quench the Spirit,

It cannot lessen the power

of the Resurrection.

 

 

Posted in Inspiration & Devotion, Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments