Moving Forward…sort of

Posted on March 12, 2021 by Lynn

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the Covid-19 pandemic here in Canada. We went into lockdown on March 14th, and our lives changed overnight. I think I am a pretty positive person overall, but I have really felt the impact of this year on my physical, mental, and spiritual health as never before.


I took this picture on March 12th, 2020.
Only difference today in 2021 is we have TP. 🤦‍♀️

Yesterday I had the opportunity to book myself to receive the AstraZeneca vaccine next week, but after researching the efficacy of this particular vaccine and the fact some countries have pulled the vaccine due to clotting concerns, I elected to wait for the next roll out until May.

It’s so hard to know what to do. The information seems to change daily. I feel guilty I had the opportunity to be vaccinated, but am now waiting. I want to trust public health officials, they’re the experts after all, but I waver in trusting them entirely. I’m not a rule-breaker. I try to follow all the health protocols in place, but I’m starting to question and doubt. It’s unnatural to be so separated from personal contact with others.

We went to an in-person church service last Sunday. First time since last August we were there in person rather than watching online. We must wear masks, we must sit physically distant from others, and refrain from congregational singing. Still, it’s important to be together in corporate worship. I’ve certainly missed it!

I am flustered by the fact that some churches in Alberta are flouting the public health rules citing religious freedoms are more important than following the current restrictive health protocols in the province. One Pastor is currently in jail, for allowing packed church services, with no distancing, or masking that violates public health rules. He’s applauded by many in the faith community, who agree with his stance. I understand his frustrations, but I cannot support his rebellion. There are too many people who have battled Covid, who have lost loved ones to the disease, and many like myself, who are so vulnerable to serious complications if we catch it, that we must still adhere to the health measures. To do otherwise, is irresponsible.

How do we navigate being in the world and yet be apart from it? I’ll admit I do not have the answers. I pray this pandemic will end soon. I’m weary of it. It’s been a long, uncomfortable, challenging year.

I read an interesting article my step niece posted on Facebook:

“For a small amount of perspective at this moment, imagine you were born in 1900. When you are 14, World War I starts and ends on your 18th birthday with 22 million people killed. Later in the year, a Spanish Flu epidemic hits the planet and runs until you are 20. Fifty million people die from it in those two years. Yes, 50 million.

When you’re 29, the Great Depression begins. Unemployment hits 25%, global GDP drops 27%. That runs until you are 33. The country nearly collapses along with the world economy. When you turn 39, World War II starts. You aren’t even over the hill yet.

When you’re 41, the United States is fully pulled into WWII. Between your 39th and 45th birthday, 75 million people perish in the war and the Holocaust kills six million. At 52, the Korean War starts, and five million perish.

Approaching your 62nd birthday you have the Cuban Missile Crisis, a tipping point in the Cold War. Life on our planet, as we know it, could well have ended. Great leaders prevented that from happening.

At 64 the Vietnam War begins, and it doesn’t end for many years. Four million people die in that conflict.

As you turn 75, the Vietnam War finally ends. Think of everyone on the planet born in 1900. How do you survive all of that? A kid in 1985 didn’t think their 85-year-old grandparent understood how hard school was. Yet those grandparents (and now great grandparents) survived through everything listed above.

Perspective is an amazing art. Let’s try and keep things in perspective. Let’s be smart, help each other out, and we will get through all of this. In the history of the world, there has never been a storm that lasted. This too shall pass.”- Author Unknown

Keep moving forward!

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Time to Quit?

Posted on March 3, 2021 by Lynn

I have never felt more like quitting than today!

The weight of that thought droops my shoulders, and brings me close to tears.  I look at the blank screen on my computer and experience an overwhelming urge to delete every file, purge the hard drive of every piece of my writing, finished and unfinished, and declare my writing career done.  

For good.  

Forever.

I don’t get paid enough for this!  The more I think about that fact, the angrier I become.  Is it worth it financially for me to continue?  

Seriously!  

My heart’s just not in it anymore!  It isn’t.  I haven’t enjoyed the process in months.  It is tedium now, something I do out of obligation, a sense of duty.  I struggle whenever I try to put my thoughts onto paper.  I don’t feel any sense of accomplishment after I’ve rattled off a somewhat mediocre article, just a sense of relief that I have completed yet another writing deadline on time.  I can now relax until another bout of nagging guilt forces me to tackle yet another last minute assignment.

I debate closing down every social media account I have.  I want anonymity, obscurity, to vanish like a wisp and face the consequences of what I am convinced is welcome oblivion.  

Will people even notice my absence?  Do I honestly think that my presence online is that important to anyone else?

So, I ask myself, “Why am I doing this?”

I pause.  The question begs an answer, but I have no ready answers.

Why am I doing this?

The question hangs in the air like a maleficent odour.  It reeks in its putridity.  I have to figure out an answer or I will eventually succumb to this impending stench of death.  I am hearing in my head the gonging chimes marking the death knell of my writing.

Why am I doing this?

Is it for the money?

No.  I almost laugh out loud.  I suppose there are authors who are making good money with their writing.  Not me.  

But, it’s never been about the money for me…  Has it?

No.  There was a time I wrote for the sheer pleasure of it.  I wrote because I loved to write.  I was compelled to write.  The art, the act of writing beckoned to me from deep within.  When I was awake, I thought about writing, and when I drifted to sleep, I was still composing and editing the storylines in my head.  

When did it become about the money?  

I have to answer honestly with abject sadness, “When writing became more like a job, and less about the craft.“

So if I’m not writing for the money, is it for fame?

I will admit that I enjoy the compliments, the comments, the writing accolades, the awards I have received because of my writing.  Prideful?  Definitely.  It does motivate me to keep writing to stroke my ego.  However, I have also faced criticism.

I don’t like that.

I have faced critical evaluation of my writing, and even though it is hard to read and accept, I still continue to write despite it.  

I’m not stroking my ego then.  

It is persevering in the midst of struggle.  It is wanting to overcome, to grow, to improve.  I conclude that writing must be more than attaining money or garnering personal fame.  The revelation of that causes me to perk up a bit, but again I face that nagging question:

So, why am I doing this?

Philippians 1: 4-6 immediately comes to mind. “In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

The Apostle Paul is praising the Philippians for their work in spreading the gospel, and that work, with God’s help, will not be completed until the second coming of Jesus.  For me, it is a rallying cry to persevere, to continue in the work God has called me to until such time He tells me to stop.

I am once again reminded that it’s not about me, it’s all about Him.

My writing is His.

It is not up to me to quit when I am frustrated, discouraged, overwhelmed or just plain tired of it all.  It is embracing my ongoing ministry, my partnership in the gospel, and I must continue it to completion.  I ask forgiveness for my self-centeredness, and ask God to renew my passion for writing once again.  

Thankfully, He always answers that prayer!

(Originally published on InScribe Writer’s Online)

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World Cancer Day

Posted on February 4, 2021 by Lynn

World Cancer Day, is the annual observance held on February 4 that is intended to increase global awareness of cancer. World Cancer Day originated in 2000 at the first World Summit Against Cancer, which was held in Paris. At this meeting, leaders of government agencies and cancer organizations from around the world signed the Charter of Paris Against Cancer, a document containing 10 articles that outlined a cooperative global commitment to improving the quality of life of cancer patients and to the continued investment in and advancement of cancer research, prevention, and treatment. Article X of the charter formally declared February 4 as World Cancer Day “so that each year, the Charter of Paris will be in the hearts and minds of people around the world.”

For twenty-one years, global residents have “observed” World Cancer Day, creating the trending hashtag #worldcancerday so survivors, families and healthcare workers can share their stories on social media.

“Cancer awareness has become exceedingly important in the 21st century. While there have been numerous advancements in the understanding, diagnosis and treatment of cancer—factors that should contribute to the decline of the disease—the number of new cancer cases diagnosed each year has globally continued to increase. There were 8.1 million new cases diagnosed in 1990, 10 million in 2000, 12.4 million in 2008, and 14.1 million in 2012. The number of annual deaths worldwide from cancer has also increased—from 5.2 million people in 1990 to 8.2 million people in 2012 to an estimated 9.6 million in 2018. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), if the incidence of cancer continues to grow at the reported rate, the number of deaths worldwide from cancer will increase to more than 16.3 million by 2040. However, also according to WHO, as many as 40 percent of deaths from cancer are preventable. As a result, raising awareness of cancer prevention has become a prominent goal of many cancer and health organizations around the world, and World Cancer Day has come to represent an annual reaffirmation of the importance of this goal.”

(Rogers, Kara. “World Cancer Day”. Encyclopedia Britannica, 17 Sep. 2020, https://www.britannica.com/topic/World-Cancer-Day. Accessed 4 February 2021.)

I am a two-time cancer survivor. I take no delight in saying that. I battled and endured the life-altering treatments, but in truth, I wish I had never had to go through it all in the first place! My fervent prayer is that no one ever has to be diagnosed with cancer in the future, and that it can be eradicated from the face of the earth forever!

We are so concerned with Covid-19 right now, but the tragic reality is that while we roll out a vaccination program to combat Covid, there is no such vaccine available for cancer. Research is ongoing, but even with all the technology at our fingertips, the causes and cure for cancer continues to allude us. Our world health and political leaders have for the last year showed a single-mindedness to combat Covid, and rightly so, given the voraciousness of the virus. This world-wide effort has resulted in a vaccine that has been approved in record time and administered in what will likely be in the millions of doses in a relatively short amount of time. That is impressive! However, the research and finding a cure for cancer seems to plod along in an almost snail-like pace in comparison. The fact remains that even though we mourn the tragic loss of life due to Covid, there will never be the same number of Covid deaths as the ones cancer claims globally each year.

I am doing my part to bring awareness to cancer prevention, research etc., by sharing my survival story through my writing and my journey walk with God. My faith has not been shaken. My personal story with cancer gives credit to all those people God placed in my life so I would not battle cancer alone. Healthcare workers, family, friends and prayer warriors stood with me. I am thriving because of them. God was and is my constant Companion and Source of strength; my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

I pray that a cure for cancer in all its forms will be found so that my children, my grandchildren, and my great grandchildren will never have to face a cancer diagnosis in their lifetimes!

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