Worst Author Ever!

darkstormynight-696x436While I was busily writing my third and final book of my “Wounded Trilogy” – Love the Wounded.  It was a bit of a struggle to write, not necessarily because I was experiencing “writer’s block”, back in 2011, but the fact that I could not put a concerted amount of time into writing it.  I was enjoying being a new Grandma and spending as much time as I could with my new Grandbaby, Jaxon.  It was a tough year of distractions, and writing.  I would find myself many times staring at a blank page struggling with choosing the right words.

In high school, my biology teacher, Mr. Slater, called me the “only literary biologist I know”.  I tended to use a lot of unnecessary verbiage to write out my scientific observations.  I suppose, according to him, there were only so many ways you could describe a dissected fetal pig.  Anyway, I couldn’t help but laugh when in the middle of my writing doldrums way back in 2011, I read about the winner of the Bulwer-Lytton “Worst Writer ” award.

The  contest challenges entrants to compose bad opening sentences to  imaginary novels that takes its name from the Victorian novelist Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, who began his Paul Clifford with “It was a dark and stormy night.”

The winner in 2011 was, Sue Fondrie, who described herself then as “a full-time teacher of teachers and part-time awful prose writer”.  It was the first time I had heard of this contest and I will admit it was just the catalyst I needed to complete my book and ensure it was completely and properly edited!

At  26 words, Prof. Fondrie’s submission in 2011 was the shortest grand prize winner in Contest history, proving that bad writing need not be prolix, or even very wordy:

Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into  bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.

Too fun.

Since 2011, I still enjoy checking in to see who the winners are each year.  In 2016, the winner was William “Barry” Brockett of Tallahassee, Florida, a 55-year-old building contractor who has specialized in additions, home makeovers, and bathroom/kitchen remodels for about twenty years.  His winning entry makes me guffaw my way through the expository verbiage of unparalleled mediocrity…(how’s that, Mr. Slater?)

Even from the hall, the overpowering stench told me the dingy caramel glow in his office would be from a ten-thousand-cigarette layer of nicotine baked on a naked bulb hanging from a frayed wire in the center of a likely cracked and water-stained ceiling, but I was broke, he was cheap, and I had to find her.

I thought it might be fun to get the word “juices” flowing and have some of my author/writer friends and writer wannabes try their hand at writing an “awful” opening sentence.  Leave a comment with your sentence, and if I get twenty or more participants, I might even make this into a real contest.

Just like the Bulwer-Lytton contest promised to Sue Fondrie in 2011, I may offer “a pittance” to whoever writes the “worst” sentence here on Journey Thoughts!

I leave you with the circumlocution, diffuseness, prolixity, surplusage, verbiage, periphrasis, redundance, tautology, verbosity, pleonasm, redundancy, tediousness, and wordiness needed to win this prestigious contest!

Happy Writing!

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Journey Thoughts is Now Part of the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid (BG2)

bg-blogger-badge-500x500-e1387301563797Can I get a big Whoo Hooo???  Maybe a little Happy Dance will suffice, but I am thrilled that today I was invited to be a part of the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid (BG2)! 

For this small-town, Canadian Gal, this is a big deal.  For those of you who are not familiar with Bible Gateway, it’s the most visited Christian website in the world, with 150 million views per month, 885,000+ Facebook fans, 394,000 Google+ followers, and 110,000+ Twitter followers. The Bible Gateway Blog registers 500,000+ views per month. Founded in 1993, Bible Gateway is the original multilingual online Bible resource. It empowers global users to freely read, hear, search, study, compare, and share the Bible in 200+ versions and 70+ languages, using their desktops, laptops, tablets, ereaders, or smartphones. 

It will come as no surprise, that my #1 online resource is BibleGateway.com so I can hear, search, study, compare and ultimately share the Bible with my Journey Thoughts readers.  You will note that over the next few weeks, I will be going through my past blog postings and ensure my scripture verses are linked with BibleGateway.com .  As I have said, time and again in my blog postings, it is imperative that my readers not just read individual verses, but read the verses in context!  Linking to BibleGateway.com , will allow you to do just that!

Since 2009, I have been writing my little musings on Journey Thoughts.  Originally it was to promote my books and build my author platform, but God had a different purpose in mind.  It has since grown to be a ministry I never imagined.  With over 9 million hits and followers from around the world, I am humbled by its outreach.  Truly this in itself shows that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ever ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us!  (Ephesians 3:20)  I give all the Glory to Him Who is able!

Readers, you have the opportunity too in seeing that the Word of God is spread world-wide.  I am asking that if you “like” what you read on Journey Thoughts that you will freely “like” “follow” AND “share” it on social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.)  I thank-you in advance for partnering with me in this way!  Join my Facebook page(s): Lynn Dove -author page; Encouraging Bible Verses and Quotes; and Word Salt.  I would also appreciate you following me on Twitter @LynnIDove .  I also want to ensure that you check out BibleGateway.com and follow Bible Gateway on social networks as well.

Lastly, I covet the prayers of the faithful.  I know that the enemy prowls around like a roaring lion waiting to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)  I feel a burden to speak (write) the Truth in love and that can lead to spiritual attack and discouragement from the enemy who always wants to thwart the plans of Bible-believing Christians.  The many bloggers on the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid (BG2) need your ongoing prayers. I am also so thankful to be a member of the InScribe Writers here in Canada. Just this past week, (Jan. 7) I received an email from Connie Inglis (InScribe’s Spiritual Advisor) saying that she prayed Isaiah 43:16-21 for me.

In light of the events of this past week, I can’t help but feel even more blessed and encouraged by her prayers and these words from Scripture.

“This is what the Lord says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:  “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise.”  (Isaiah 43:16-21)

To God Be the Glory, Great Things He Hath Done!

Posted in Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Vilification and the Golden Globes

l_f8cefcb0-7450-11e1-99ef-6f1e72500004I will admit it right out…I get star struck at times.  Being a writer, I have often wondered about having my Wounded Trilogy made into a movie and what “star(s)” would take on the character roles.  I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have your written work immortalized on the small and big screen but for this small-town Canadian girl, it would be a dream come true.  That said, there is so much about Hollywood that glitters like gold, and so much more that is rusty and tarnished.

The entertainment industry seems to go out of its way to shock and glorify lifestyles and despicable morality that flies in the face of Biblical Christianity.  Hollywood models the kind of “Christianity” that espouses that there are hundreds of different ways to God, that it’s okay to walk the wide path and to forget the scripture that says the narrow path is the better way and that Jesus is the ONLY Way, Truth and Life.  That’s the modern feel-good, “Christianity”, where everything is acceptable because God loves everybody and as long as you’re not hurting anybody else you can do as you please without fear of judgment.  That’s Hollywood’s Christianity…and they’ve got it wrong.

That kind of secular, worldly, tolerant “Christianity” is not Biblical Christianity.  It’s false teaching.  It may appeal to a wide audience because people are not held accountable for their sin.  There is no repentance, sanctification, or justification.  People wallow in their sin, are even applauded for their “courage”, and any one who tries to tell them their way is NOT God’s way, is labeled bigoted, intolerant and mostly ignored or openly vilified.

I have noticed that in this secular society we now live in, a society that prides itself on freedom of speech, press, and religion, that one is only “free” if they do not attempt to say anything that goes contrary to the popular way of thinking.  There is an anti-Christian sentiment running rampant in our world today but perhaps more prevalent now than at any other time in history right here in Canada and the U.S.A.  Although Canadian and American Christians may not be physically tortured or persecuted per se, listen to a Middle Eastern underground house church leader: “Persecution is easier to understand when it’s physical: torture, death, imprisonment….American persecution is like an advanced stage of cancer; it eats away at you, yet you cannot feel it. This is the worst kind of persecution.”

Bible-believing Christians are attacked online, in the Press, in schools, colleges and yes, even in Hollywood.  We are bullied, harassed and ridiculed by the so-called tolerant masses.  We do not have “freedom” to speak what the Bible clearly teaches as Truth because it goes contrary to what people want to hear.  This is a society that has been turned on its side, abandoning what’s right in favour of what’s clearly wrong.  In nations that once professed to be God-fearing, Canada and the U.S. have turned their backs on Christian ideals.

We are legalizing sin.

Let’s call it what it is!  We are allowing people to murder their babies, euthanize their sick loved ones all in the name of “freedom”.  We are abandoning traditional marriage and family values in favour of alternative lifestyles.  It’s okay to foster multiculturalism and ethnic diversity in our schools but then openly taunt and jeer students who bring a Bible into a classroom.  There is no clear differentiation now between the male and female genders and that’s totally acceptable.  We’ve become so “free” that rules no longer apply and we are sinking lower and lower into our base depravity that the wicked prosper and the “good” are bullied into silence.  There are no absolute truths and we are seeing suicide rates rise, crime rates rise and our children are leaving the church in droves because they are confused by the messages they see showcased in Hollywood.  They are sucked into believing the lies spread by the secular society around them because we are failing as Bible-believing Christians to boldly teach them the Truth of the Gospel.

Finally, seeing the woes of this world get worse rather than better because of our out-of-control liberalism, we as nations, divided under God, desperately cry out to be saved from the ills around us but refuse to listen to the only One Who can truly save us if we heed the warnings from His Word.

We wonder why the Voice from Heaven is silent.

Jesus said it best: “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.  (Mark 6: 4-6)

He was amazed at their lack of faith…  He could say the same thing of us today.

Hollywood mirrors the hearts and minds of society around it.  The Oscars and Golden Globes award shows showcase the sense of fear this industry of imagination is dealing with.  America, (and Canada) are under attack from the enemy without and within as the two nations deal with their lack of faith.  We have no faith in our politicians, in the economy, in our military, police and any others in authority and, it is obvious we have no faith in any kind of god.  In a room filled with dreamers, revolutionaries, pro-active thinkers and activists, they think their liberal ideals will change the world for the better.  All the tinsel and glitter and haute couture fashion cannot mask the fact they will one day be judged by God for their deeds.   Not one of them seem to acknowledge that much of their doom and gloom is due to their lack of faith.  Faith and Fear cannot co-exist.  You either have one or the other.

If they had any kind of faith they would know God is in control and they would not be fearful of the future.  Faith shows us that God has not abandoned His children, no matter how wayward they have become.  The Lord says, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ (Jeremiah 33:3) He calls for us to repent of our sins, seek Him with all our hearts, and He will save us if we have faith in HIM!  Faith drives out the fear.  I pray Hollywood gets that message loud and clear…

Can you imagine the amazing T.V. shows and movies that would come out of a faith-filled Hollywood?

Can I get an AMEN?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments