You Know You’re Getting Older When…(2)

I have discovered something…no, not “discovered”…realized that I have entered a new season in my life.  I am not a teenager, try as hard as I might to act like one.  I am not a young wife, or mom, try as hard as I might to try to turn back the hands of time and force my kids to stop growing up!  I am not yet an empty nester although I’ll be pushing another bird from the nest soon,… so I’m in that inbetween state.  I am too old to be young, and too young to be old.  It’s called middle age.

I don’t mind being middle-aged.  I enjoy the fact that I’ve gained a certain amount of maturity so I know that I don’t rush head long into things without thinking it through first.  I’m not into spontanaety but I enjoy surprises, as long as it’s planned out and orderly.  Hahaha.  I like certain things, I dislike certain things and I can tell the difference without needing to experiment.  I have taken my own advice, so I don’t need to jump off a cliff just because my friends are doing it.  I seldom stay up past midnight…unless I can’t sleep…a middle-aged malady that is a frustrating side-effect of this season of my life.  I eat certain foods because they agree with my system and I avoid certain foods because they disagree with my system.  I have learned the hard way what foods to avoid entirely.

I don’t feel bummed out that I never learned how to ski, or sky jump or parasail.  I’m okay with it.  I don’t have a bucket list, although I would still like to see more of the world.  I dream, but I don’t dream “the impossible dreams” anymore.  I dream with practicality and a sense of peace.  I am comfortable.

Now my kids might think I’m boring, and I suppose when I compare myself to them, I am boring.  They are still “test-driving” life to some extent.  My youngest might actually “jump off a cliff” because that seems like a great idea to her!  They like taking life at full throttle and hey…I’m okay with that…as long as they don’t get hurt.  It’s all part of being young, but it’s not part of being middle aged.  That said, I’m doing things now I would never ever have dreamed of doing when I was young!  There are definite benefits to being in this season of life.

I hope you’ll like this “tribute” to middle age:

  • Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.   
  • Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
  • Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
  • A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
  • You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
  • The cardiologist’s diet for those in middle age: if it tastes good, spit it out.
  • Middle age is when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
  • In middle age your back goes out, but you stay home.
  • In middle age you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
  • In middle age it takes two tries to get up from the couch.
  • In middle age your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
  • In middle age your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
  • In middle age it takes twice as long to look half as good.
  • In middle age you get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.
  • In middle age you have more patience; but actually, it’s just that you don’t care any more.
  • In middle age you confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.
  • In middle age every time you suck in your gut, your ankles swell.
  • In middle age you suffer from Mallzheimer’s disease.  You go to the mall and forget where you parked the car.
  • Middle age always corresponds inversely to the size of your multi-vitamin.
  • In middle age your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
  • In middle age your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • In middle age your new easy chair has more options than your car.
  • In middle age you come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
  • In middle age you are proud of your lawn mower.
  • In middle age you can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
  • In middle age you feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.
  • In middle age your knees buckle but your belt won’t.

And lastly, let’s face it, traveling just isn’t as much fun when all the historical sites are younger than you are.

Can I get an “Amen?”

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2 Responses to You Know You’re Getting Older When…(2)

  1. Tracy Krauss says:

    Wow. I hear you. This is exactly how I feel! it’s not really that bad, is it?!

  2. Yeah, time has a way of forcing its way forward even when we have a desperate grip on it. I like the way my kids, my wife, my life is now, and I don’t want to remodel. But luckily, I’ve come to realize that though the “now” changes, it changes for the good when God is the one shaping our days.

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