New Year – New Worries?

You will have noticed that I have been silent the last few weeks (at least from a writing viewpoint).  I am once again teaching full-time butslide_20 this time it’s a very different assignment than in years past.  I am teaching a group of very bright, very enthusiastic Grade Six students and this time I have an arch-nemesis to deal with that I haven’t had to battle for eons…MATH!

My high school Math teachers would have a real chuckle about this, as would most of my high school friends, that by some strange fate, Mathematics and I have been paired together to learn from one another yet again.  Yes, it’s true I sent one of my Math teachers “over the edge” as he tried to teach me the finer nuances of trigonometry and algebra…(sorry Mr. Ruxton).  Yes, it is also true that I have tried to avoid the subject area almost all my adult life, either in teaching it, or doing it.  I can balance my cheque book…and Mr. Ruxton is probably surprised by that!  Knowing my mathematical weakness, God gave me a husband who is a genius with numbers and I help him with spelling and grammar.  We’ve made a good team for close to thirty-eight years.  However, I cannot bring him into my Grade Six classroom everyday, so I must face my nemesis on my own.  It’s a steep learning curve to be sure.

Thankfully, I work with a great team colleagues, who don’t point and laugh at me, like some of my classmates did when I went to high school, but are eager to help me if I should find the battle too hard for me to handle on my own.  I am also blessed with some pretty savvy math minds in my Grade Six classroom who are learning in spite of me!

Still, this challenge is a new “worry” for me, as the enemy points out my limitations and heaps condemnation on me, pointing out my inadequacies along the way.  It’s easy to say, “do not be anxious…” (Philippians 4:6-7) but the reality is: I AM ANXIOUS!

I just put away all our Christmas decorations.  It was a season spent with all my children gathered under one roof with their families and significant others.  After a rather tumultuous year, filled with challenges and personal ups and downs for each of my children, this past Christmas was filled with healing and miracles.  Laughter filled our home.  It was the BEST Christmas ever…in my opinion at least.  So, it was not unusual as I packed away the tree ornaments and nativity scene that I started to become emotional.  We don’t know where we will be spending Christmas next year.  Change is on the horizon, and after over twenty years of Christmases spent in this home, we may be in a new home, perhaps a new province next Christmas.  It’s the unknowns in our future that have me uneasy.

It’s easy to say, “do not be anxious…” (Philippians 4:6-7) but the reality is: I AM ANXIOUS!

It’s hard not to fret about the economic downturn we have seen here in Alberta, falling oil prices that effect our livelihood here in this province and in Canada in general.  Political unrest, terrorist threats, humanitarian disasters, global tyrants who threaten our peace,…the list compounds until I feel so overwhelmed that complaining about my lack of mathematical ability is infinitesimally trivial!

It’s easy to say, “do not be anxious…” (Philippians 4:6-7) but the reality is: I AM ANXIOUS!

I’m sure there are others who feel as I do, entering the first few weeks of 2016, more trepidatious than excited.  Apparently the beginning of a New Year according to statistics brings on more stress and depression than at any other time of the year.  Some call it the “January Blues“.  The festive Christmas season turns to a big psychological downer when bills come due, work resumes and things go back to normal reality.

It’s easy to say, “do not be anxious…” (Philippians 4:6-7) but the reality is: people ARE ANXIOUS!

I was reminded today that casting my cares once more upon the strong shoulders of my Saviour is a choice.  It’s not easy to let go of my anxiety.  At times I wear it like a security blanket.  I become more comfortable in my stress than letting go of it.  Weird but true.

I want to let go of my anxiety.  It’s a daily struggle.  I truly want that “peace that transcends understanding”.  There is no easy method for letting go of anxiety, but there’s a proven, tried-and-true equation to follow: I am presenting my petitions to God through prayer yet again.  Ceaseless, daily prayer going before the Father for wisdom and guidance.  I know He is able.  I know He is “my help in times of trouble” (Psalm 46:1).  I may not be a math genius, but that at least is a good formula to work on every single day.

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2 Responses to New Year – New Worries?

  1. Joel Jemba says:

    This is impressive

  2. Paula says:

    Good thoughts! If it’s any consolation, teaching math always made me feel anxious, too. 🙂

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