I am a walking, dancing, miracle this morning! I should be in the throes of battling excruciating neuropathy pain, the nasty side effect I’ve dealt with over the last two rounds after chemo, but instead in this third round I am so far pain-free and praising God for answering our prayers!
I don’t know if I can adequately express in words my thankfulness for all the prayers lifted up on my behalf. To those who leave comments, I am humbled by your words of encouragement.
I will admit I had real misgivings going into this round. I am a wimp when it comes to pain. Round Two had been so challenging for me, I dreaded being in that state again this go-round. The prescribed pain-killers had little to no effect on controlling the neuropathy I was experiencing. It was sheer misery. Then, to make matters worse, a blood clot further complicated things and I truly questioned why God was allowing all this to happen to me. I questioned Him in 2001 as well when I battled breast cancer. I remember crying out, “Why me, Lord?” I was surprised by His response to me then and I remembered it this time too.
“Why not you?”
God’s response was profoundly impacting. How arrogant was I then, and now, to think that I should be somehow spared hardship? What claim do I have to any of His blessings really? Is it through my own works or merit? No. Am I better than another in my acts or deeds? Absolutely not! Let’s face it, God didn’t spare His only Son! Why in the world would I even question His authority over my life?
I am ashamed. Forgive me, Lord. I don’t deserve Your Grace and yet You have poured it over me again. You heard my feeble prayers and answered them more abundantly than I could have imagined.
This morning during my devotions I prayed back this precious scripture to the Lord:
Psalm 30 ” I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit. Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. When I felt secure, I said, “I will never be shaken.” Lord, when you favoured me, you made my royal mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed. To you, Lord I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: “What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me; Lord, be my help.” You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.”