The Fear Factor

Posted on March 12, 2020 by Lynn

It’s hard to watch the news these days. My husband calls world events this week a “perfect storm” with the Covid-19 Corona virus listed today as a pandemic, the Russians and the Saudis feuding over oil, and here in Canada, rail blockades. The stock markets are in a tail spin and people are hoarding toilet paper. Seriously, our world is insane at the moment. I saw this on Instagram today: “The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.” @DiageoLiam

I will admit, I laughed out loud!

I suppose I needed something to laugh at in the midst of such troubling times. People are so incredibly fearful these days. Fearful about pipelines, the environment, climate change, the economy, and now a health pandemic. I remember my Mom used to throw her hands up and beseech the Almighty when she was overwhelmed by life events, “Stop the world, I want to get off!”

I’ve certainly felt that way this week.

I honestly do not know how to respond to what I’m hearing in the news. I understand people are panicked about being quarantined for any length of time. The most vulnerable, and I was told I fall into that category because of my recent battle with cancer, fear contracting this deadly virus. Since going through my treatments, I’ve been so proactive avoiding large crowds and I’ve always followed a meticulous hand-washing regime because I am a bit of a germaphobe. However, I did travel on a plane to Vancouver Island, was in two airports, went to my local gym, went to church, had a pedicure, spent time with family, ate at restaurants, and went grocery shopping over these past two weeks. I’m just living a normal life after cancer, or trying to at least, but this virus has me nervous. I’m supposed to attend a women’s conference this weekend. Should I or shouldn’t I go?

I’m sure I’m not the only one who is feeling the stress and worry based on the world events at present time. The thing is, I cannot allow fear to overwhelm me and dictate how I live my daily life.

In the Scriptures, “fear” is spoken of over 500 times. In addition to the 103 “fear not” or “be not afraid” verses there is also the “fear of God” verses which speak of having reverence for God alone, and the many other verses that encourage us not to be anxious or worry. In 2017, I wrote a blog post with 50 Encouraging Scripture Verses to Combat Fear. It is still one of my most popular posts to date. I encourage you to read those verses if you are feeling trepidatious about your current situation or if world events are causing you anxiety. I don’t negate the seriousness going on around us, nor should we make light of the fact people are suffering and families are grieving over loved ones who have passed on as a result of this virus. It is important to take necessary precautions to prevent the spread of Covid-19 or ANY other infectious disease now or in the future. I appreciate how so many governments, organizations, businesses etc. have responded so proactively to contain exposure and spread of the virus. Some, have been overly cautious perhaps, but better safe than sorry. I won’t fault any one for going above and beyond in fighting this pandemic.

So, I’m still wrestling with going to the Women’s Conference this weekend. I’m praying for wisdom. I know all precautions have been taken in organizing this event, and I don’t want to be ruled by fear. So I lean on my “go to” verse while I pray:

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

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Take Time

Posted on March 7, 2020 by Lynn

It’s that time of year again.

Daylight Savings.

For some it’s just a nuisance to change all the clocks in the house. Springing forward, we say so we can remember to set the clocks one hour ahead rather than back an hour as we do in the fall. Some communities in Canada have kiboshed the whole idea and refuse to touch their clocks. Me? I don’t mind the task at all, in fact I welcome it. I putter around the house two times a year setting the clocks forward or back praising God for the change in seasons. Time change in Spring signals longer days of sunshine to enjoy evening barbecues with family, campfire talks, the look ahead to warmer days and summer fun. In the fall, it’s all about hibernating, luxuriating in shorter days, cozy nights and winter solace.

Last year, I did not get a chance to really enjoy the Spring or Summer, being in the heat of my cancer battle. I was still in the throes of the battle leading up to Christmas, but this year I am celebrating living cancer free once again, and participating whole heartedly in the change of seasons.

My husband and I have spent a week in beautiful Victoria on Vancouver Island. The cherry blossoms were just starting to bloom and daffodils, crocuses and snow drops were everywhere. It was mainly a visiting trip, connecting with family there. We are planning a more extended time on the island in September, but for me this trip was one glorious week of celebrating LIFE!

I watched with fascination a bald eagle soaring high over Langford Lake, and felt such a sense of gratitude that I was there, experiencing the beauty, the life, the love of family surrounding me, I nearly wept with joy. In the heat of my cancer battle, I wasn’t sure I’d experience Spring in Victoria again. Yet, here I was mesmerized by the flight and magnificence of an eagle overhead. I felt like breaking out in song, “How Great Thou Art!”

Coming back to snowy Alberta, unlike previous times when I lamented leaving the temperate weather on the island to returning to winter weather, I fully embraced the homecoming. It is the return to routine, to normalcy, to everyday life, enjoying each day, fully in the moment.

If I lament anything, it is the fact I had to experience cancer AGAIN to enjoy living life to the fullest. Embracing the “one day at a time” mentality, I see the world through different eyes. It’s important for me to take time to smell the roses or cherry blossoms, as the case may be, as well as catch snowflakes on my tongue as I’m doing today! It’s taking time each day to praise God for giving me life through Jesus Christ His Son. It is being mindful to walk humbly in His Creation, and continuously thanking Him for each new day and not taking it all for granted.

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A Season of Refreshment

Posted on February 20, 2020 by Lynn

My oncology visit in January was one I had dreaded. Why do I always get nervous? I chided myself before my meeting with my doctor. I was cancer-free,… or was I? I don’t know how many more times I needed to be encouraged by the doctors, but one more time couldn’t hurt…could it?

My oncologist tried to reassure me, “It is not unusual for cancer survivors to be nervous about cancer returning.” She was right about that. I thought I had beaten cancer in 2001 once and for all, but with the diagnosis last year, I wasn’t sure anymore.

“It’s not metastatic.” she said. Meaning that my endometrial cancer was not a result of a spread of cancer to other organs in my body from my battle with breast cancer, it was an entirely new fight.

“What does that even mean?” I asked.

“It’s just dumb luck you got cancer twice,” she said. Funny. I had heard the same phrase from my surgical oncologist in 2001 when I asked how I could have gotten breast cancer. “Dumb luck,” he had said.

I don’t believe in luck. I whispered to myself. “I don’t need any more of that kind of “luck”.” I said aloud.

“No kidding, right?” she grinned and patted my knee.

Still, it’s like an icy presence looking over my shoulder playing peek-a-boo with my emotions. Would I feel it at every doctor’s visit from now on? The fear, along with the half expected words, “It’s back.”

She patted my knee again. “You’re doing great! I also think you can come off the blood thinner injections AND I don’t need to see you for another four months.”

My husband smiled. He has been with me to every treatment, every appointment, and I could see the relief in his eyes. He has never been a fan of hospitals and knowing we don’t have to be near one for four months (God willing) was a huge relief. I thought about the fact I don’t have to give myself needles anymore. A huge weight lifted off of me. I mentally pushed those icy fingers off of my shoulders and felt lighter in mind, body and spirit. Throughout those challenging months of treatments, I had longed and prayed for the recovery phase. Now it seemed I finally had the confidence to move past recovery to another level of wellness: refreshment. I praised God as we left the cancer clinic and the words to one of my favourite hymns immediately came to mind:

“Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
there is no shadow of turning with thee;
thou changest not, they compassions, they fail not;
as thou hast been thou forever wilt be.

Great is thy faithfulness!
Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided–
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!”

The mountains beckoned to us a couple days later. The normalcy of taking a scenic drive, having lunch with my husband, planning future excursions together, dreaming, drinking in all the sights and sounds around us, we both felt invigorated. I felt refreshed. I praised God for the day, for the week, for allowing me to experience this new season of refreshment. The warm, Chinook wind lifted my wig nearly off my head, so I discarded it and have not worn it since. It is like shedding another layer, discarding another reminder, another symbol of what I have battled and beaten again. My newly sprouted, extremely short, dark hair is a “fashion statement”, as my husband calls it. “Show it off!” he said.

I am enjoying this Season of Refreshment by doing some early spring cleaning, embracing the days with renewed energy. God continues to comfort me through His people, and His Word. Worshiping God through song, I am ever mindful that He is faithful. Once again, I have experienced His compassions and I am now renewed.

“Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
sun, moon, and stars in their courses above
join with all nature in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is thy faithfulness!
Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided–
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!”

Source: Trinity Psalter Hymnal #245
Thomas O. Chisholm (1923) Public Domain
Lamentations 3:22-23

*Originally published on InScribe Writers Online – Feb. 17, 2020

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