Plans Change

Posted on May 31, 2019 by Lynn

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Our plan was to spend a week in Rome, then board a ship on the 1st of June to cruise the Mediterranean for eleven days. We pictured spending our 40th Wedding Anniversary on the 2nd of June to be the most memorable day onboard, seeing new sights, and then ending the day with a romantic sunset dinner on the private balcony of our estate room. It was supposed to be our trip of a lifetime.

But plans change.

I’m three weeks post op on Monday. Instead of cruising the Mediterranean on our anniversary, we will likely take a leisurely drive to the mountains after church and have a nice lunch in Banff or Canmore. Something we’ve done numerous times before. We haven’t finalized the plan yet, it sort of depends on whether a morning in church has tuckered me out too much. It will be my first Sunday back after surgery and I have discovered to my dismay that I get tired quickly after any kind of activity. I attended a prayer meeting the other day with three dear ladies and I came home so exhausted I slept most of the afternoon. I know prayer is hard work but seriously?

So, we might make plans for our anniversary on Sunday but those plans might change too. All we can do is adapt and go with the flow.

My sweet husband and I are used to change; we have learned to either accept it and adapt to it, or be filled with disappointment and regret that our plans didn’t work out as we thought they should. We make a conscious choice of accepting and believing that each U-turn and unexpected course change in life has a God-Centred purpose.

It’s the way we’ve lived our lives for forty years. Proverbs 16:9 has been our life verse and every time a plan we made didn’t work out exactly like we intended, or not at all, we believed God was always in control and He’d steer us in a different and often much better direction.

He’s never let us down.

In every course change or U-turn we’ve experienced over these forty years, we have been able to share remarkable testimony about God’s goodness, provision, and faithfulness towards us.

Now some may say if that is so, why make your own plans at all?

My parents gave me a little wooden plaque with a Hans Christian Andersen quote in Danish painted on it:

Loosely translated: “God gives us peanuts but He doesn’t crack the shells open for us.”

It’s important to keep making plans. Dream big, plan hard and have fun in the process, but never be so immersed or dedicated to any plan that you can’t accept and adapt as necessary if your plan unexpectedly changes. Trust that God is in control and look for His activity around you.

My husband and I are already planning another cruise after my health improves. We have great plans for the future and we will continue to plan with confidence that God will, as always, direct our steps!

Posted in Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Diagnosis

Posted on May 28, 2019 by Lynn

What has changed from yesterday to today? The sun rose on schedule this morning as it did yesterday. I woke up beside my husband this morning and asked, “Good morning, how did you sleep?” The same words I had spoken to him yesterday. We dressed, had breakfast and he headed to work.  All very normal, all very routine, all very mundane except this morning we know I have cancer and yesterday we hoped I didn’t.

I got the pathology report back yesterday and although I don’t pretend to understand all the medical terminology in it, “positive endometrial carcinoma” I understand. One lymph node shows positive carcinoma, both ovaries, although removed by surgery, also positive for carcinoma. I think I understand by the confusing numbers that the cancer is described as “Stage 1” on a scale of 1-4. A Stage “4” being the worst prognosis I could have gotten. That means we caught it early…hopefully.

I meet with my family doctor on June 11 and then at the cancer clinic on June 20th to discuss treatment options but I’ve done my research and know chemotherapy is the recommended treatment.

I’ve travelled that road before.  April – June, 2001, I underwent four rounds of chemo after my breast cancer diagnosis. My oldest daughter was sixteen years old then, my son was eight, and my youngest daughter was five and in kindergarten. My two youngest don’t remember much about that time; God mercifully protected them from worrying or wondering what was happening to their Mom. My oldest though would call my cancer experience a “defining” time for her. “I was sixteen, but I did not have the knowledge or faith like I do now.” She recently shared with me. “It was your first diagnosis that put me on that path because I saw you live out your trust and faith.”

She has been proactive ever since in getting yearly mammograms and understanding that her risk factor for getting breast cancer, and now ovarian cancer, is increased with my diagnoses. She is proactive but she’s not fearful. She knows God is in control no matter the circumstance. If she learned that lesson by watching how I faced cancer then and how I intend to face it now…well…I praise God!

I now pray my two youngest will also walk by faith, not by sight as they too travel this new cancer road with me. I pray my grandchildren will see their grandma praise God through the valleys as well as the mountaintops. I pray for complete and total healing, and for many more years to give testimony to His faithfulness.  God is in control!

Today, in my morning devotions I read Habakkuk 3:18-19 “yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.”

Let that be my song today!

Posted in Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Grateful

Posted on May 24, 2019 by Lynn

I was noticing the dust starting to accumulate around me. A small spider was doing acrobatics over my head and all I could do was watch his dangling antics parked as I was in my lounger unable to do much about him or the dust trampoline he eventually landed on.

Doctors have been adamant that I not vacuum, lift, or do much of anything overly exerting for the next few weeks after surgery. I’ve never been a Martha Stewart type to begin with, but when I have a Spider Cirque du Soleil happening right over me, it’s time to do something!

My sweet husband has extended himself in every way possible to go above and beyond the call of duty. What with running a business, waiting on me, and juggling other chores, house-keeping unfortunately has fallen last on his priority list. I get it. Still, when I have nothing better to do than watch dust bunnies chase each other around the floor in front of me, I get a bit fretful.

I knew a big challenge for me would be to “rest” after surgery. I know my body needs to recover but it’s not my nature to sit still and let others shoulder responsibilities that are mine. It makes me feel burdensome and inadequate. I want to contribute, but without over-taxing myself. My husband shakes his head and over-protects and directs me back to my lounger. *sigh*

My oldest daughter knows how finicky I am about my house, and how watching spiders pirouette around me will ultimately lead me to distraction, so she arranged to have a lady come in to do some cleaning for me while I’m in recovery mode.

I am beyond grateful for this practical ministry, that this caring lady is doing for me today! She’s chased those bunnies all morning and there is nary a spider in sight!

My heart is happy!

My husband and I have also been the grateful recipients of meals delivered nightly by our Bake and Care team at our church. I am overwhelmed by this outpouring of love for us; God’s people serving in practical ways to care for me!

Don’t know how I will spend the rest of my day now that the spider and bunny circus has left my home and I no longer have their shenanigans to focus on. Guess all I can do is content myself with parking in my lounger and following doctor orders. Rest is a beautiful thing!

Posted in Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments