Love, Honour and…Obey?

Posted on January 20, 2019 by Lynn

Today is my engagement anniversary.  Forty-one years ago, my husband proposed and I accepted.  Wow, it seems like only yesterday, but also a life time ago!  I am so blessed!

On June 2nd, my husband and I will celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary. We are still not sure how we will celebrate that day.  I keep hinting to my adult children that they might like to do something “special” for us…  So far they haven’t taken any note of the hints dropped.  *sigh*

Of all my high school chums, I guess I have been married the longest time.  If I think about it, that goes for both my husband’s and my families too.  We have stayed the course, for better or for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, and we praise God for giving us these many years together.  He is still creating our perfect love story.  We do not take it for granted.  He has directed our steps, blessed us immeasurably with wonderful children and grandchildren and He continues to lead us forward each day.

I suppose forty years married may be considered a significant milestone when we consider how many couples today don’t stay the course together and are divorced soon after the “I do’s”.  The sad fact is that most couples today get a few years into their marriage, discover that married life wasn’t what they thought it would be and they say  “I don’t!” and leave.

I think part of the problem with couples today is that they have a real problem with the idea of “Love, honour, and obey.”  I think the majority of young marrieds don’t have a problem with the concept of “love” per se but tack on honouring and obeying and the vows just fall apart.  Young couples are starry-eyed lovers.  They breathe romance with every touch, every smile, every word that is savoured and cherished.  Every moment together is a never-ending romantic encounter and they envision a future of eternal devotion together…until…

One spouse gains a little weight, or loses a job, or gets sick,…suddenly the stars in their eyes stop twinkling as brightly. Life interrupts the romance.

Honouring is an even harder concept for young couples. We love to be honoured, but it’s hard to show our spouses honour.  Honour means to pay homage to, to hold in respect or esteem, to show courteous behavior towards, and even to worship!  How can you honour someone you don’t respect?

But it is the last part of a marriage vow that finally sets a marriage into a tailspin…obeying.  Women, especially have a hard time with this last concept.  In a world that demands equality, obeying has so many negative connotations.  It requires submission.  It requires humbling oneself.  Women with a feministic streak cry out, “Never!” and marriages crumble.

In Paul’s letter to the Colossians 3: 18,19 he writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

Take note that while wives should “submit” (obey) their husbands; husbands are commanded to love their wives.  In the Greek translation, this requires the husband to be totally self-sacrificing for his wife and never ask her to do something that he would not be prepared to do for her.  The marriage is based on sacrificial love and mutual respect for one another.  It’s not based on “what can I get out of this?” but “what can I do to show my love for my spouse?”   Self-sacrificing love is unconditional and it is never-ending.

It is the same kind of love that Jesus demonstrated for us that “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8).  “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  (John 15:13)  “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”  (Romans 8:32)  “Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  (Ephesians 5:2)

Are you treating your spouse with the love, honour and obedience (respect) that God would have you? Are you showing the love of Christ to your spouse?  If not, prayerfully ask the Lord to show you how to love, honour and obey your spouse so you can be totally devoted and give preference to one another (Romans 12:10); be accepting of one another (Romans 15:7); care for one another (1 Cor. 12:25); carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2); forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32); encourage and build up one another (1 Thess. 5:11); spur one another on to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24); confess your sins to one another and pray for one another (James 5:16).

Amen?  I do!

 

 

 

 

 

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With A Word

Posted on January 10, 2019 by Lynn

Wingnut – Photo used by permission – Jack Jorgensen

My brother, Jack and his wife are exceptional dog trainers.  They have numerous dogs at home from Papillons to German Shepherds.  They appear regularly at the dog agility events and shows such as the Calgary Stampede and I love going to watch them perform.  My brother can get his dogs to do all manner of tricks by using hand signals and short commands.  As Jack would be the first to tell you, some dogs respond better than others, which is why he spends an inordinate amount of time with those animals who are more stubborn to learn or obey his commands.  When the dog wants to be disobedient and run in different directions, patience and perseverance is required on his part to draw back their attention, but he loves every dog he trains, even though at times he calls them with affection, “Stupid.”  When my brother goes about training his dogs, he speaks with authority and he expects they will obey when he speaks.  It doesn’t happen immediately.  When training puppies, or new rescue dogs he must develop a relationship with them first that is built on trust.  Every animal has a different personality and responds to commands in different ways.  The hours and hours he puts into knowing those individual traits gives him insights into their character so he best knows how the dog will behave in any kind of situation.  Eventually the dog is so well-trained that it can block out distractions, focus entirely on what Jack wants it to do and then anticipates and reacts to the next word of command before Jack even says it!

When I see my brother and his dog perform, they both look like they are having so much fun!  I am so amazed by the way he can with just one word get the animal to weave through poles, run in one direction and then another, catch frisbees and then come back to sit by Jack’s feet to wait expectantly for another command from him.  The communication between the two of them is phenomenal.  The dog only has eyes for his master.  The praise Jack showers upon the dog, even if the dog has not responded perfectly, shows the great love and respect he has for his beloved pet.  The dog only wants to please his master because of his great love for him.  They are a team.

I couldn’t help but think about that as an appropriate analogy this morning while I was doing my devotions.  I read how Jesus needed only to speak a Word and it was so.  God followed a pattern when He created the world: He spoke; it was so; it was good.  (Genesis 1:3-4)  Whenever God revealed His plans, things happened just as He said, and God considered the result “good”. (Philippians 2:13).  “God doesn’t make suggestions.  He speaks with the full determination to see that what He has said will come to fruition.” (Experiencing God Day-by-Day)

Jesus never wasted a word.  Every one He spoke had power.  With a word, He created, healed or commanded.  He spoke with authority and expected His listeners to heed His Word.

I know there are times I am not as attentive as I should be to his Voice and I don’t heed His Word as well as I should.  I don’t usually sit in expectation waiting to hear the next command from my Master.  Instead, I am disobedient and run in different directions, contrary to God’s will.  Like one of my brother’s more playful pets, I chase all the butterfly distractions in my life rather than be fully focused on my Master.  I know the great love He has for me because even in my contrariness He corrects me, never gives up on me, and continually encourages me with His Word.

And so the training continues!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Christmas Potlucks and Fellowship

Posted on December 21, 2018 by Lynn

It’s been a week of potlucks.  Christmas is so busy, but never as busy as the week leading up to Christmas Day.  I was semi in charge of putting together three of the four potlucks this week.  It was a chance to fellowship with the small groups I am a part of in our church.  I told my daughter, “Why is it I plan potlucks when I don’t even like to cook?”  She just laughed.

Despite some anxiety about being the “hostess” at these potlucks, I absolutely LOVE the fellowship, especially with my church family.  Our social gatherings are always centred around our Saviour and remembering Him and all He did for us.  It is that tie that binds us so closely together!

Whenever we gather for fellowship with church family at Christmas, there is always much laughter and activities that have become almost traditional to do each year.  Our Sunday School class (Connection Group) looks forward to our yearly “White Elephant Gift” exchange.  I’ve included the rules here for those of you who would like to try it this or next year.  Here are some other activities as well: How Well Do You Know the Christmas Story and Christmas Carol Quiz.

Enjoy!

WHITE ELEPHANT Gift – an item you no longer need or want…unusual, or indescribably tacky is best…

DO NOT SPEND MONEY on it!  All gifts should be wrapped. Do not mark your gift with your name and don’t indicate whether it’s intended for a male, or a female.

Game Basics:  Decide who will go first…oldest to youngest or vice versa…or draw names or numbers, or whose birthday is closest to Christmas etc.

The game consists of ‘rounds’ where gifts can be stolen from other players.

Anyone who has a gift stolen from them may then steal from another or open a new gift.

The Rules of ‘Stealing’:

Each gift can only be stolen three times. Once that gift has been stolen three times it is no longer in play and whoever has it in their possession keeps it.

When a player is trying to decide what to take, hold your gift so that it can be seen. (Hiding gifts is not allowed.)

Rounds continue until all gifts have been opened and/or stolen and all players have a gift.

Hints and Strategy:

Gifts usually fall into one of two categories: ‘duds’ and ‘desired’. If you are unfortunate and open a ‘dud’, it will probably be yours for the rest of the evening.  Our sympathies will be with you.

The ‘desired’ gifts will be obvious. They will be the ones that everyone tries to steal.  (There is no accounting for taste with some people).

You should consider stealing a desired gift even if it’s of no interest to you. The chance that it will be stolen from you is what can keep you in the game and allow you to continue to choose.

Do not choose your own gift thinking that someone will steal it from you… You may go home with it!

It is MORE FUN if there is a lot of stealing!  I know it breaks about 2 or 3 of the 10 Commandments (at least) but it’s just a game… repent, if you must, afterwards.

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