Finding Joy NOT Happiness in the Lord (3)

Posted on March 6, 2017 by Lynn

finding-joy-not-happiness-in-the-lord-3Perhaps last day’s homework assignment left you a bit wary, questioning why you do some of the things you do.  Sometimes it’s good to get a healthy perspective on things.  Some of you may have thought, “I have to work to support my family.  It’s not an activity that makes me happy but I have to do it anyway.”  It is absolutely true.  As I tried to tell my sixteen year old daughter when she balked at doing her homework by saying, “I will never, ever use this Math after high school so why bother doing it in the first place?”  I said, “You just gotta do what you gotta do”.  (I’m thinking of having a t-shirt made up with that saying!)

It proves my point.  If we base our happiness on doing activities, or getting “stuff”, we will be quickly disappointed.  Sometimes we just “gotta do what we gotta do” to survive.  It may not make us happy…and here it comes…it can be a JOYFUL experience.  How?

You do not need “stuff” to be joyful.  In fact the Bible points out that JOY can be achieved in good times AND bad times.  JOY is not dependant on the circumstances of life.  JOY is a constant.  Joy can be experienced in the middle of a very negative experience, but it can only occur if God is the focus and not on the circumstance itself.

Let’s read Romans 5:1-5.  Paul tells us to “rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who He has given us.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18  “Therefore do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Someone asked me once how it is that some people can handle personal tragedies so well while other people seem to fall apart when hardships befall them.  Let me give a few examples:

In 1986, my husband, Charles worked for an oil company about the same time the federal government brought in some oil royalties that saw the bottom drop out of the oil industry in Calgary.  The result was massive layoffs and my husband found himself without a job as did a few men and women from our church family then.  We did all the practical things to get by: downsize, modify our budget etc. etc., but one thing we agreed upon was that we would not stop tithing to our church and we would focus on God as we remembered our life verse from Proverbs 16:9….”You may make your plans but the Lord determines your steps”.  We watched in awe as God opened doors and led Charles to new career ventures.  It was an awesome time in our lives because we knew that God was in control and we leaned on the promise that He would never leave us or forsake us.  Certainly there were times of worry and certainly we had to modify our lifestyle, but we grew closer to God through the experience as never before.  On the flip side of this: another man from our church who lost his job the same time Charles did crumbled.  He stopped attending church, he ended up losing his home; his wife ended up leaving him.  We completely lost touch with him and to this day I do not know what became of him.  I don’t know why we seemed to handle the upset better than he did but I think it is because we did not focus on our circumstance, we focused on God.  We found true joy in following God through this very trying circumstance.

I can’t help but think about some other families who seem to know what it means to rejoice in the Lord no matter the circumstances of life:

Rev. Dale Lang whose son was murdered in the hallway of his school years ago.  Rev. Lang was able to forgive the young man who shot his son and even ministered to him in jail.  You can’t have that kind of forgiveness if you are focused on the circumstance.  He focused on God and was able to forgive his son’s murderer.

Pastor Stauffer in Edson lost his 14 year old daughter, Emily.  She had been raped and murdered.  In the family’s statement to the press only hours after her body was discovered,  they made a point of saying that they “rejoiced” that Emily was with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I think of the Morales family.  Pastor Jesse (as he was lovingly called) was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) in 2008.  Jesse struggled valiantly with the disease for nineteen months, even leading a few of his caregivers to follow Christ even though he had difficulty speaking towards the end of his life.  If you want to witness first hand what it means to be “rejoicing in suffering”…look at the Morales’ during that difficult time in their lives!  Jesse’s daughter Stephanie posted this blog:

“Posted by Jesse’s Girl at 3:09 PM 1 comments                        

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Gotta Give Him Praise!

Upon returning from the Philippines, my dad decided not to go back to work due to his decrease in functional ability. This was a pretty devastating step but at the same time, we were thankful that he was able to know when it was time to stop. We had a bad “breathing” scare not too long after. The doctor assessed his breathing ability (which is the biggest indicator of lifespan) and it looked grim at first. He saw a Repirologist today who confirmed that he is at 73% of normal capacity and has not declined since August. Each new day is a gift, and every day that the symptoms don’t worsen, we celebrate!

Since then, 4 of his siblings have been up to visit. The gold girls, Cleo, Fely and Rose made the long drive up for only a 1 day turn around a couple of weeks ago. Among the many highlights was my Aunt Cleo stir-frying dad’s healthy breakfast cereal (concocted by Aunt Remie) thinking it was brown rice. She added the usual onions, soy sauce, etc. to OATMEAL and the best part was… she ate it! (Bless her heart for not wanting to waste food!) You have to find joy in the little things right?

Last week Uncle Lope and his family were up and thank you to Les especially who has the wonderful gift of humor. I know you made him laugh hysterically on more than one occasion. Uncontrollable laughter is a symptom of ALS but we’ve unanimously decided it’s our favorite symptom! Praise God for laughter.

This is a hard road that we’re on. But as I was told by a very godly woman, you have to revel in those little moments of happiness that God brings your way. Otherwise, we’re doomed to being a victim of circumstances.”

Jesse passed away on August 17, 2009.  We attended our friend’s memorial service along with hundreds more.  It was a celebration of a life well lived!  Canadian Country superstar, Paul Brandt even sang at the service, his life having been touched personally by Pastor Jesse.  Every year, his family, friends and church family participate in the ALS run held in Calgary to raise money for ALS awareness.  Jesse left a timeless legacy.  He never focused on his circumstances…his sole focus was on the Lord!

Homework for today:

  • 1.  What challenging circumstances are you facing right now?
  • 2.  Are you able to look beyond those challenges to find a sense of “joy” even in the midst of those circumstances?  Why or why not?
  • 3.  Pray to the Lord to help you find “joy” even in the midst of hardship and challenges.

“2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do…

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”  (James 1: 2-8,12)

(*This blog series was first published by Lynn Dove in April/May 2012.)

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Finding Joy NOT Happiness in the Lord (2)

Posted on March 3, 2017 by Lynn

finding-joy-not-happiness-in-the-lord-2Today I continue my series on Finding Joy NOT Happiness in the Lord.

How many of you did your homework?  For those who did, I would be interested to hear what “happy” thing you did and why it made you happy.  You can leave me a comment if you’re brave enough to share.  To others, did you just avoid the whole activity because you thought it might stress you out more than make you happy?  Believe it or not some people even avoid “happy” activities because it can be an added stressor in their lives.  Don’t believe me?  I know people who find Christmas the most stressful time of year…

I love dinner parties but they stress me out planning them!  I’ve nearly had a nervous breakdown planning a child’s birthday party…(I told you yesterday I was an A-type personality!)

Sometimes it would be so easy to avoid those activities but let’s face it, avoiding stressful activities, whether they give us happiness or pain is pretty impractical.

Now I don’t know about you, but I would say that this would be a constant struggle for me to try to avoid anything in my life that would cause me pain, hurt, distress or upset.  In fact, I would think this is an impossible goal…and yet many men and women in this world have embraced this philosophy.

Ever heard the expression “If it feels good, do it.”?  We live in anything but an altruistic society, where the pursuit of happiness is entirely centered around one’s own wants, desires, and needs.  Just look at today’s advertising.  It is entirely centered on what we should buy so we will be happy in today’s world: the cosmetic industry alone is a 30 billion dollar industry with a 20% growth rate each year!  We need to ask ourselves: can happiness be found bottled in a L’oreal jar, or found under the hood of a sport’s car, or found at the bottom of a yoghurt cup?…and yet that is exactly what the world would have us believe.  If we buy this or that, if we change this or that about ourselves, if we only think positively and never negatively, we will be truly happy.  It is a deception, it is a falsehood and unfortunately we buy into it over and over and over again, and for a time we may be happy, but it is fleeting, then we need to buy something else or do something else, or try something else… and that’s why the commercials never stop and why we are never completely satisfied and why we are never completely happy.

JOY is different.  Whereas happiness is described as a buoyant emotion that results from momentary plateaus of well-being.  Joy is bedrock stuff.  Joy is the confidence that operates irrespective of our moods.  Joy is the certainty that all is well, however we feel.  Joy isn’t a feeling based on circumstances, Joy is an attitude based on our relationship with God.

Joy is the happy state that results from knowing and serving God.  A number of Greek and Hebrew words are used in the Bible to convey the ideas of joy and rejoicing.  We have the same situation in English with such nearly synonymous words as joy, happiness, pleasure, delight, gladness, merriment, felicity, and enjoyment.  The words JOY and REJOICE are the words most often used to translate the Hebrew and Greek words into English.  JOY is found over 150 times in the Bible.  If such words as “joyous” and “joyful” are included, the number comes to over 200.  The verb “rejoice” appears well over 200 times.

Joy is the fruit of a right relation with God.  It is not something people can create by their own efforts.  The Bible distinguishes joy from pleasure.  The Greek word for pleasure is the word from which we get our word “hedonism”, the philosophy of self-centered pleasure-seeking.  Paul referred to false teachers as “lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God” (2 Tim. 3:4)

The Bible warns that self-indulgent pleasure-seeking does not lead to happiness and fulfillment.  Let’s read Ecclesiastes 2:1-11.  This is the sad testimony of one (Solomon) who sought to build his life on pleasure-seeking.  The search left him empty and disillusioned.

Pleasures Are Meaningless 1 I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.” But that also proved to be meaningless. 2 “Laughter,” I said, “is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?” 3I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was good for people to do under the heavens during the few days of their lives.

4 I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. 5 I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. 6 I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. 7 I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. 8 I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, and a harem as well—the delights of a man’s heart. 9I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.

10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;    I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my labor,    and this was the reward for all my toil. 11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done  and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”

Proverbs 14:13 offers further insight into this way of life, “Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful.”  Cares, riches and pleasures rob people of the possibility of fruitful living (Luke 8:14).  Pleasure often enslaves people in a vicious cycle of addiction (Titus 3:3).  The self-indulgent person, according to 1 Tim. 5:6, is dead while seeming still to be alive.

Here is some more homework for you:

  • 1.  What are things that you strive for under the sun?
  • 2.  What pleasures (rewards) do you get from striving for them?
  • 3.  Are you happy in your pursuit of them?  Why or why not?

(*This blog series was first published by Lynn Dove in April/May 2012.)

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Finding Joy NOT Happiness in the Lord

Posted on March 1, 2017 by Lynn

finding-joy-not-happiness-in-the-lord-by-lynn-doveIf I were to take an informal survey, raise your hands and tell me if you are “Happy” today?  Now if I were to ask you again, how many of you are “Joyful”?

Did some of you raise your hands for HAPPY but not JOYFUL?  Why?

How many think Happiness and Joyfulness are one and the same thing?

How many just don’t feel like raising their hands?…..just kidding.

Well, over the next few weeks I plan on doing a series about Finding Joy NOT Happiness in the Lord.  I will attempt to show you the difference between Joy and Happiness.  That’s not to say that you can’t be happy and joyful at the same time, because obviously you can, but there are also times when you can experience joy without feeling happy.  How is that possible, you might ask?…well let’s start with some definitions:

Happiness: is a state of being that is generally short-lived.  In other words, happiness occurs over and over again for a variety of different reasons, generally caused by a pursuit or an activity that the individual has done or experienced resulting in this “happy” emotion to occur.  For example:

You can feel happy when you are:

Reading to your child, or walking your dog, or going on a holiday….I’m sure we could come up with countless things to list that make us happy….

Now some of you may say, “But Lynn, I experience “joy” doing those things as well…”  In other words the word “happy” is just not a strong enough emotional word to adequately express how you feel.   I totally understand that.  It’s like we equate the emotion JOY as a kind of step up from happiness.

Here’s the differentiation between Happiness and Joy and we’ll use our original examples:

You are happy reading to your child.  It’s bonding time.  It’s cuddling with your child and sharing a good book and getting some good quality time in with your child…you are happy until he suddenly looks up at you and you realize he has a kind of “green look” in his face.  In fact, as he leans against you, you feel that he’s a little warm and suddenly your “happy” emotion has dissolved into concern for your sick child….

Another example:  The prospects of going on a holiday makes you happy.  You have planned this tropical get-away, you have enjoyed a week soaking up the sun and the whole experience has left you happy and contented.  On the way home, you’re still happy reliving all the great memories of the past week, until you land and you discover that the airline has lost one of your bags.  Your happiness is replaced with frustration, possibly anger.  In fact, if you are an A-type personality like I am – this ONE negative experience may adversely affect how you felt about the entire holiday….

Let’s take another more extreme example:  You are a fit, active woman.  You eat healthy, you are happy with your good health.  Sure, you’re happy…until one day you become sick….

See where I’m going with this?…

Happiness is a state of being, an emotion that can be interrupted and therefore is temporary.  It can be experienced again and again but not necessarily with the same intensity as before…

-you can go back and read to your child and be happy but you might never recapture the same mood as before the child got sick.

-you can go on holidays and be happy but you might always be thinking about whether or not you’ll come home with the same amount of bags as what you left with.

– you can recapture your healthy state again and be happy, but you might have had to change your lifestyle to do so.  It just won’t be the same again.

I came across an interesting website that actually measures how Happy you are….I am not a social scientist so I don’t know whether the measurements are accurate etc. but I thought that their definition of “happiness” was interesting:

“Happiness is a belief that a hoped-for state of affairs is coming into existence.  Pleasure is limited to the feelings of the moment.  Contentment is the feeling that a hoped for state actually exists.  Unhappy reactions to being blocked from an activity are the best measure of a person’s true goals.  It matters little where you came from but greatly where you now choose to go and what you choose to do.”  (Charles Scamahorn’s Happiness Scale – HAPS – A scale for measuring human happiness, 2006).  http://www.probaway.com/MetaScales/Happiness/Happiness.htm

Based on that definition alone, we can see that it is entirely up to the individual whether or not he or she will be happy or not.  We can also add that if you set your goals too high for yourself and you fail in the attempt to achieve that goal, you won’t be happy.  Often happiness is in the pursuit of things entirely centered on the individual.   In other words, if you set out to be rich, or healthy, or powerful, or lose weight etc. etc. and you somehow are not successful in achieving that goal you will not be happy…ever.  Therefore you have two options:  try harder to achieve those goals (and we know what that means…stress, stress and more stress….) or try to avoid being blocked in achieving these goals.

What I read here is that the only way to achieve true happiness is to completely avoid anything that would cause you to be unhappy…..in fact as I researched a little more, many world philosophies today are based entirely upon that fact alone: avoidance of anything that will cause you pain, hurt, distress, or upset.  Happiness is only achieved if all negative experiences and feelings are removed.  So these philosophies advocate that people try to avoid or at least control negative influences that would undermine their state of happiness.

So here’s some homework for you today:

  • 1.  Make a list of things (people, events, activities etc.) that make you happy.
  • 2.  Briefly ask why those things make you happy?
  • 3.  Take time today to participate in one of those “happy” activities!

 

(*This blog series was first published by Lynn Dove in April/May 2012.)

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