My grandbaby, Jaxon calls me “Ga!” because he has, up until recently, been unable to make his little mouth form “r’s”. He calls my husband, “GaPa!” for the same reason. The other day I visited with him and he actually said, “GaMa!” and although delighted that he recognizes me with such excitement, I’m still a little sad that his days of calling me “Ga” are numbered now. I asked him how old he would be in a couple of weeks and he said, “Fwee!” I laughed because he was so cute saying it but also because he’s not turning “fwee”, he’s turning two! Children always like to think of themselves older than they are.
My “baby” girl, Carmen is going to be graduating at the end of May and she wasn’t too excited about it all until very recently…perhaps knowing she might have a date to take her to the banquet, has much to do with this new-found excitement…
Anyway, I had a hard enough time when she got her learner’s permit and then her license. It just seemed soooo surrealistic to see my baby driving a car! How did that happen? One day she’s playing with Polly Pocket dolls and the next she’s driving to Tim Horton’s to get an Ice Cap coffee. Well…I guess not the NEXT day…it was probably years later…still… for a parent it seemed like it happened overnight.
This week, she’s having her grad pictures taken. The students are supposed to bring something that represents their personality to pose with…Carmen has chosen a giant Pikachu. God bless her! Hope she always stays a child at heart! I vetoed the footies though.
Tonight we’re going shopping for a grad gown. I can almost feel the tears start to well up, just thinking that my baby will soon be done high school and like her two siblings before her, she’ll be making some serious life decisions and the days of dolls, footies and Pikachu will be relegated to the past. I want to be excited for her, and I am, but I’m also a little sad. My baby’s growing up.
I know it’s the next season of life for her, but my mother’s heart is aching for the days passed. I am NOT looking forward to being an empty-nester…no matter what the commercials say about embracing Freedom Fifty! Why do I feel such an emotional tug on my heart-strings when my kidlings reach another significant life milestone? Why can’t Jaxon just keep calling me “Ga”, why can’t Carmen just keep playing with Polly Pocket dolls? I should embrace their accomplishments but as I scan websites in search of the perfect grad gown, all I think about is…my baby girl is growing up…and I’m sad.
Thankfully this morning, the Lord brought this scripture to mind: “that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) I have tried to “train her up” the best I know how, and now God is asking me to let go and let Him direct her to follow the path He has always had in mind for her life. God is in control. Thank you, Lord, for Your Word today.