It’s a funny thing. The kids have moved out but now they seem to want to come home just to chat or spend time with their father and me. Over the past week, I have had lunch or dinner with each of the children, very spur of the moment, and incredibly pleasant. I say that because the last few years when they lived at home, they always seemed to be too busy to join us for a meal, either with work schedules or their social calendar commitments. Then when they were home they would sequester themselves in their rooms and conversation with them was generally a sporadic exchange of information from then on.
What has happened? We haven’t changed…
My son even offered to pay for an expensive dinner out. What is the world coming to??
I will admit, I’ve been wondering if they are having ulterior motives for this unusual behavior but so far it’s obvious they just like to “drop in” and visit. I haven’t changed. My husband hasn’t changed. We’re still the same old, same old, talking the same language, doing the same things as we’ve always done while the kids were at home. What has happened? If we haven’t changed…gasp!…have they? 🙂
Of course I’m being facetious. I think I am finally seeing the fruition of “training up a child in the way he should go”, and I know it’s still too early to say for sure, but perhaps they are seeing their parents in a different light as well. We’re not just the parental units who nagged them to do their homework, or to clean their rooms. We are not looked upon as their personal chauffeurs anymore, or their chefs, or their management consultants, or money-doler-outers. In fact, they seem to be actually grateful when we prepare a meal, or offer advice, or buy them something. Hmmmm…we haven’t changed…gasp!…have they? 🙂
Proverbs 1:8-9 ESV “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”
Hi Lynn. I’ve been reading your posts about empty nesting. My husband and I can relate to a lot of what you say, especially in The First Week. Also, Week Five. Praying for our children. It seems they all need prayer, all the time, for one reason or another. But your experience is so different from mine. You see, all 4 of our children have moved so far away (taking our grandchildren with them) that we rarely see them. No midweek lunches, or dropping in for a chat. No cuddles with our grandbabies. All we have are phone calls, and texts, and honestly, they are too few and far between. I know from experience that this would be far easier, at least for me, if my children were local, and we could talk to them face-to-face once in awhile. This is an issue that few people address on ’empty nest’ article. I see this article was written 3 years ago. So I don’t know if you will see this. Anyway, thank you for sharing your thoughts. They have been helpful.
Joanne, I thank-you for sharing. My husband and I have talked for a while now about downsizing and moving to a new home on Vancouver Island. It has always been our dream to retire there and not deal with the winters anymore that we experience here in Alberta. However, we always come back to the reality that our grandbabies are only minutes away here and I know how hard it would be to not be so close to them. When my daughter lived in Louisville for a year when her husband went to school we Facetimed a lot. That’s when I really appreciated technology!