Are you playing hooky from Church?

Don't Go to Church 4_ezrI am admitting to something that happened eons ago, but I suppose confession is good for the soul.  During the 1972 Canada-Russia hockey series I (along with my friends, Jean and Tanya) smuggled our transistor radios into math class and under the pretense of looking extremely studious during the class, we were in fact paying much closer attention to our radios listening to Foster Hewitt’s play by-play of the historic games, than listening to our Math teacher drone on about integers.  I suppose you could call it playing hooky while still being physically in the class.  I remember I had expertly concealed my headphone under my long hair.  Mr. Ruxton, our math teacher, bless his heart, turned a blind eye to the perceived ruse we thought we were perpetrating in his class.  It was only when a goal was scored and all three of us jumped up and cheered, without realizing we were still in class, that Mr. Ruxton frowned and then laughed at us when I said as an explanation for the outburst, “We are so EXCITED for math!”  He shook his head while the rest of the class giggled “busted!” and then he motioned for us to show him our radios.  We sheepishly obliged and then he asked, “What’s the score?”   I hated math but I loved Mr. Ruxton at that moment!

The next time I played hooky was during my second year of university.  I had enrolled in a linguistics class at the University of Victoria.  It was an elective course required towards getting my teaching degree.  It seemed EVERY second year education student had heard that this was a “gimme” class (meaning you only needed to attend, write the final and rarely did anyone fail this particular class).  140 students packed a small classroom the first day to hear a professor with even less personality than the teacher from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off give his eighty minute lectures.  If you arrived late, you had to lean against the back wall for the entire ordeal.  After three lectures, I was looking for ANY excuse to drop the course, unfortunately I needed the course to get into my practicum year.  On the way to the fourth lecture, my fiance and his ne’er-do-well friend, Mike, waylaid me en route to the class and asked if I would like to join them for coffee at the Student Union Building.  They were in between classes and had a couple of hours before they had to be back.  I didn’t need much convincing, so for the next twelve weeks, I never attended another linguistic class, choosing instead to meet Mike and Charles for coffee.

Now kids (my kids especially), I don’t recommend this as an acceptable way to pass a course.  In fact, I am slightly ashamed of myself…slightly…

Leading up to the final for that course, having only attended three lectures, I spent a horrific, stressful weekend “cramming” for the exam by reading every linguistic book written by that professor.  (If his lectures were boring, his text books were equally so.)  I nearly cried when they put the test paper in front of me, knowing I was so unprepared.  So no one was more shocked than I was when I actually passed the course!  I was ecstatic until I heard that everyone else had scored an “A”.  Apparently one little essay question worth about 20% (one I left blank) was based entirely on a lecture he had given in the eighth week.  Knowing I had the chance to raise my grade point average significantly with that mark and instead I opted to play hooky, made me a little weepy.  A missed opportunity lost forever.

For some, going to church is not a priority in their lives, but for our family it is.  When my husband and I got married, we made the decision to plant ourselves in a church family and attend our home church every Sunday.  Certainly there have been Sundays missed over the years due to illness or holiday, but for the most part, we have worshipped regularly in our home church on Sunday mornings.  It has become an integral part of our life.  My three children grew up in our church.  From their days in nursery to College and Career our kids have been involved with the church.  Our church family has become as dear to us as our blood family, and in some ways we are more connected to some of them because we see them more often than we do our own family members who live so far away.  It was my church family that ministered to me when I went through breast cancer.  It was their daily visits and prayers that sustained me.  I know that I can call on any number of them for anything and they will be there.  They are my brothers and sisters in Christ, and our bond is that close!

Still there are some Sundays I will admit (I’m still confessing…) that I would much, much rather stay in bed and sleep in.  As much as I love getting together with my  church brothers and sisters, there are some Sundays I’d just rather curl up at home and play hooky.  Especially on those bitterly cold days we have in the winter months here in Alberta.  I would rather not get out of bed, get dressed, put on makeup, get bundled up to get into a cold car and drive to church.  The temptation to play hooky is great!  Oh and of course, let’s not forget those summer months too.  I know it’s necessary to make the most of summer because it is sooooo short a season here in Alberta but I noticed a sign on a neighbouring church the other day that read “Enjoy the summer, we’re closed until September”.  I suppose they figured it was better to close up for the summer rather than face empty church pews each Sunday while their congregants were on holidays.

Seems like a great idea…or is it?

When I read something like that it only adds fuel to all my other excuses for trying to rationalize my need to play hooky from church.

“Honey, you go.  I’ll have lunch waiting for you when you get home.” or “It’s a big church, certainly no one will even notice I’m not there today.” or “I’ve been in church every Sunday since Christmas…”

Yeah, after a while the excuses start to get pretty lame.

So then I decide to bargain a bit.

“How about if we stay home today, and I’ll make it up to God by reading the Bible more next week.”  (Oh, I forgot, I’ve been playing hooky from Bible reading for a while too… eeeeek!)

It is just about at that moment a light bulb goes on over my head and I realize that I need to check my heart condition.  Usually when I wanted to play hooky from something, it’s because my heart wasn’t in it in the first place.  In the case of my math class…well a hockey game took precedence over algebra.  To be honest ANYTHING could take precedence over a math class 🙂  My heart was definitely not into suffering through boring lectures in linguistics, but as I have told my kids throughout their school years, sometimes you’ve “got to do, what you’ve got to do” for the greater good.  Too bad I didn’t listen to my own advice way back then.

When it comes to spiritual things, including wanting to attend church (or not) or keeping up with Bible readings, or daily devotions etc., if I am considering playing hooky from these things, it’s because my heart just isn’t into it.  There can be numerous reasons for this.

1. Sin – the enemy has gotten a foothold somewhere in my life and I’m not willing to acknowledge it.

2. Spiritual Warfare – the enemy is attacking me knowing that if I “follow God with all my mind, heart and strength” he will not have access to me.

3.  My heart has lost interest.  A serious illness that needs immediate attention to find the root cause.  (Usually it has to do with self taking control of my actions instead of allowing God to have control.)

For some people, this malaise can last a day, a week, a year, or a lifetime, and when I start seeing and feeling the symptoms in me, I know I need to check my heart health immediately.

Recently I had a disturbing conversation with someone close to me who said they were “taking a break from God for awhile”.  How do you even do that?  I understand wanting to play hooky from church but from God?  I pondered on what the ramifications would be if the situation was reversed and God decided that He was going to “take a break from us for awhile”.  What if God played hooky from us?

“For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.” (Matt. 13:15)

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Dusk & Dawn

I taught a creative writing course at the Christian school I teach at and I promised to highlight some of my students’ work on “Journey Thoughts”.  I know you will join with me in applauding their outstanding work and I hope you will be as moved as I was by their inspirational writing!

Dusk & Dawn – a poem by Timothy and Elijah (Grade 8 students)

“Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.” – Robert Frost

Exposition – by Timothy

I stand here on this peaceful dusk,

As sunset starts to gleam.

A golden shade of peacefulness

Majestic sunset’s beam.

The world is tired, filled with wear,

The villages asleep,

And soon to wake, when dawn sets in,

When sunlight becomes deep.

 

The mountains stand in harmony,

Protecting those who sleep,

The summer air caressing them,

For no, they do not weep.

And so they stand there purposely,

For fear they do not know,

And they protect whole-heartedly,

Beneath the moonlight’s glow.

 

And now the moon shines high, oh high,

And lights upon the stream,

That ever peaceful midnight scene,

This tranquil, lovely gleam.

A single shining moonlight’s sheen,

For blissful summer’s stream,

I stand there in the half moon’s glow,

This peaceful summer’s dream.

 

I stand here on this silent morn

The dawn is coming in

The river seems it’s ever still

Before the morning’s in.

The world hath not awakened yet

The silence here so grand

And such a lovely morning scene

This peaceful country land.

 

The sun comes peeking through the clouds

And lights upon the trees

That turn all luscious shades of green

Like gentle summer’s breeze.

It makes them dance so gracefully

Such bliss it fills my soul

As river ripples peacefully

And life now feels so whole.

 

A Kayak comes, two men aboard

The silence takes them too.

They are part of morning’s scene

As sun comes smiling through.

The harmony enlightens me

And I’m part of this scene

Sitting by the lazy river

Morning so serene.

 

Body – by Elijah

God creates these wonderful scenes,

That take your breath away.

It’s an image of intricate artwork,

So look at this beautiful day.

Just one of God’s amazing perks,

So come on and play.

The scenery around you is unbelievable,

Think for a moment and pray.

 

Coda – by Timothy

We are safe ‘neath His mighty hand,

We are His masterpiece.

Created in His likeness,

His love will never cease.

He will not tire, will not fail,

For sins He did repay.

We are safe ‘neath mighty gales,

And He’ll guide you today.

So do not fear, whatever falls,

For grace shall guide the way.

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Gentlemanly/Womanly Respect

I wrote this post several years ago but it bears repeating after my husband and I witnessed an appalling scene at the Calgary Stampede last week.  A young man and woman got into quite an altercation at one of the eating venues on the fairgrounds.  The language these two young people hurled at one another loudly caused me to cringe.  If “sticks and stones” break bones, I’m sure the obscenities and vulgarities left a scarring, shattered imprint on their hearts as well!

I have been involved in a series of conversations lately with regards to men and women treating each other with respect…namely with their actions.  One Facebook discussion focused on whether or not women like men to help carry heavy grocery bags etc. for them.  Interestingly enough, most women who responded enjoy it when a man acts in a “gentlemanly manner” towards them.  In fact, I had to comment that my sweet husband not only carries heavy bags for me, he opens doors for me, never gets into the car without first opening the door for me, and he walks on the outside of the sidewalk (nearest to the curb) so if water or mud should splash up from a passing car, he would get splattered, not me!  It’s just a little thing, but it speaks volumes to me how he treats me with gentlemanly respect.

So it begs the question…is acting in gentlemanly or womanly respect an outdated concept for BOTH men and women?

Let me give a recent example…My sweet children, bless their unrefined little hearts, have no problem belching (or worse) in front of friends, family and members of the opposite sex.  My son takes pride in the fact he can belch the entire alphabet!  Now, I understand that in some cultures it is a form of a compliment to belch after an evening meal thus indicating to the host that the meal was well appreciated, however I am appalled when my children decide the dinner table is an appropriate place for a belching contest … and I KNOW it’s not to applaud my culinary skills!

I have noticed that the youth today do not care who opens doors, just as long as someone does.  It’s more or less a race to get in or out the door anyway.  I get a little irritated when they barrel into one another, or worse…ME…when I am trying to go out a door.  Not cool…especially at church!

There have been countless times where I have had to put up chairs and tables for a church event, while more robust young men stood around and watched me.  The idea of helping me never even crossed their minds.  Thank goodness I have no problem asking for help even though they might grumble and complain the whole time!

Now I am overgeneralizing…we have an amazing group of youth at our church, and for the most part, they are polite and respectful around me, but still I see that acting like gentlemen and “young ladies” around one another is a foreign concept to them.

There are definitely some theories as to why this is.  The feminist movement in the 60’s and 70’s caused women to want to be treated as equals and over the past thirty years men have done just that.  Men do not stand up on the bus for a woman anymore so she can have a seat.  In fact, I saw an exchange years back where a man offered his seat to a young woman on the C-Train, and she swore at him!  No wonder, men do not treat us with respect!  Men have allowed women to “pick up the tab” at restaurants and have in many ways become subservient in the home and some may even say in the church.  The spiritual leadership in the home has fallen in recent years to wives, with men relinquishing the role that according to scripture is a duty that must rest with the male head of the household.  (Ephesians 5:22-33)

I direct you to read a great blog on modesty I read recently.  The author gives a good interpretation on what “biblical modesty” is all about.

So I’m interested in knowing your thoughts on the subject.  Is gentlemanly/womanly respect a thing of the past?  Is it too late to train our children to be respectful of one another?  Should we be teaching appropriate etiquette to our children or is that too a thing of the past?

Posted in Family Life, Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments