How Do I Love Thee?

Posted on February 14, 2017 by Lynn

how-do-i-love-theeHow Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43) by: Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 – 1861

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Perhaps one of the most “lovely” – pardon the pun, poems of all time.  Every Valentine’s Day, it seems to be the one that is quoted most by lovers all over the world, well, at least the first two lines:  “How Do I Love Thee?  Let Me Count the Ways…”

The beautiful sentiment and meaning of the sonnet all but lost in comedic sketches and cheesy Hallmark cards we laugh at while shopping at the dollar store.  You know what I’m talking about.  Often times the husband or wife depicted in the sketch or card will actually count the ways:

“How do I love you, let me count the ways”:

ONE.  I love you when you take the garbage out… (open the card) and I’ll love you even more if I don’t have to nag you to do it every time!

TWO.  I love you when you cook me dinner…(open the card) and I’ll love you even if it results in a trip to the hospital for food poisoning.

THREE.  I love you when I ask if I look fat in that dress, when I know I do but you say that I don’t…

We have all but ruined Browning’s poem!

Like the sweet words of sentiment my son wrote to me one Valentine’s Day when he was five:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet,

And I am too.

(He didn’t quite understand the concept…)

Or how about this one, written by a close friend of mine?:

Roses are red,

Violets are great,

Just remember girdles

Cost two-ninety-eight.

I know it’s often said, “It’s the thought that counts.”  Not in this case.

But let’s get back to Elizabeth Barrett Browning.  Born in 1806, in Durham, England, she was the oldest of twelve children.  For centuries, the Barrett family lived in Jamaica, where they owned sugar plantations and relied on slave labour. Elizabeth’s father, Edward chose to raise his family in England, while his fortune grew in Jamaica.  Elizabeth was well-educated at home and by the time she was twelve was already writing poetry inspired by John Milton’s epic poem, “Paradise Lost” and her love of Shakespeare.  Elizabeth was always battling poor health but that did not detour her from teaching herself Hebrew in her teen years so she could read the Old Testament; and later her interests turned to Greek studies.  Along with her appetite for classic literature, was a passionate enthusiasm for her Christian faith.  She became active in the Bible and Missionary Societies of her church.

A series of misfortunes hit the Barrett family in the 1830’s, where they all but lost their fortune due to the growing abolitionist movement which Elizabeth endorsed, much to her father’s dismay.  Her father sent his other children to work on the plantation but Elizabeth, due to poor health, stayed home with her father and continued to write a collection of poems which eventually garnered attention in 1844 from the poet, Robert Browning.  Elizabeth had praised him in one of her poems, and he in response wrote her a letter.  Elizabeth and Robert (6 years her junior) exchanged 574 letters over the next twenty months, but their romance was bitterly opposed by her father, who did not want any of his children to marry.  In 1846, the couple eloped and settled in Florence, Italy.  Her father never spoke to her again.  Elizabeth regained her health and had a son and she published a collection of sonnets in 1850 that she had written in secret before her marriage, including “How Do I Love Thee” that was dedicated to her husband.

Why am I sharing this?

Elizabeth Barrett Browning could not have penned a more perfect love letter to her husband.  It has been analyzed and re-analyzed by English Literature scholars who have tried, and in my opinion, failed to adequately define and interpret the amazing love she was purposefully trying to express to her husband through this one poem.

I think, and this is just my own opinion, of course, most of the scholars just don’t “get” the poem, because they do not fully grasp the Christian concept of love she has woven intricately throughout her poem.

Indulge me for a moment:

“How do I love thee, let me count the ways.”

There are actually 6 ways in the Bible to count the ways of love.  Being a Hebrew and Greek scholar, Barrett would have known that.

In the Old Testament there are two Hebrew words that are translated into English as “love”:

“Ahab” – is human love for another, including family, friends, spouses and God.  Ahab – is the “love” expressed in the great commandment in Deuteronomy 6:4-5, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”

And in Leviticus 19:18, “Love your neighbour as yourself.”

The second Hebrew word, “hesed” is the unbreakable bond that God initiates with Abraham and Sarah and their descendants:  “Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you, I will curse; and in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.” Genesis 12:1-3

It is not conditional love, “If you do this, then I will do that.” There are no “ifs” in these promises of God. There are no time limits; no cancellation clauses. This is a covenant bond between God and Abraham and their descendants defined in the story of Moses, the escape from slavery in Egypt and the giving of the Ten Commandments. And so, while hesed has the feelings of love, kindness, mercy, and affection it is defined primarily by the unconditional, steadfast, loyal, faithfulness, and trustworthiness of God.  Hesed continues even when feelings change. God’s anger and punishment is ALWAYS expressed within the constraint of this unbreakable covenant bond, and is ALWAYS for the purpose of restoring the mutuality of that bond.

Further qualities that are also embedded in hesed are righteousness and justice; harmony and well-being. Notice that in the verse quoted, in Genesis 12, God says, “I will bless you so that you will be a blessing.” So, while God’s covenant bond is unbreakable and unconditional, it is not an “anything goes” relationship. It is a bond that has a purpose: so that you will be a blessing. And the nature of this blessing is justice: right relationships with family, foreigners, slaves, the land, animals, etc., etc.; and harmony and well-being for all.

In the New Testament there are four Greek words that are translated into English as “love”:

The word, charitas, is often translated as “charity,” and it connotes feelings of generosity, gratitude, favour, pleasing others, and finding beauty and delight in service to others. It is selfless love. 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 speaks about this kind of love. You may note too, it is the scripture most often quoted at weddings, when the Pastor is trying to tell young newlyweds, from this day forward, it’s NOT all about you as individuals anymore. It’s that balanced partnership of constantly striving to love your spouse more than yourself! (Am I right, or am I right? 🙂 )

The Greek word, eros, is named after the Greek god of love. His Roman counterpart was Cupid (meaning desire). This “love” is associated with sexual desire, romance and what we most often equate with Valentine’s Day. Solomon’s Song of Songs is a good example of this kind of love.

Phileo, is commonly associated with “brotherly love,” and is most often exhibited in a close friendship. Best friends will display this generous and affectionate love for each other as each seeks to make the other happy. Since phileo love involves feelings of warmth and affection toward another person, we do not have phileo love toward our enemies. However, God commands us to have love toward everyone. This includes those whose personalities clash with ours, those who hurt us and treat us badly, and even those who are hostile toward our faith.

Luke 6:28 “bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

That type of love is Agape love.  It is God’s unconditional, unbreakable bond of love; kindness, and mercy so that we might live together with righteousness, justice, harmony and well-being. When Jesus quotes the Great Commandment from Deuteronomy and Leviticus, it is Agape love He is referring to. It is the most powerful, noblest type of love.  It is sacrificial love.  Agape love is more than a feeling – it is an act of the will.  This is the love that God has for His people and prompted the sacrifice of His only Son, Jesus, for our sins.  Jesus was Agape love personified.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16

Agape is used to describe the love that is of and from God, Whose very Nature is love itself: “God is love” (1 John 4:8)  God does not merely love; HE IS LOVE itself.  Everything God does flows from His love.

Understanding that, let’s read Elizabeth Browning’s second line of her poem again:

“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height”  – Stop there.

Have you heard of that kind of love?

Ephesians 3:14-19,  Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians: “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Immediately a Worship song comes to mind: “How deep the Father’s Love for us, How vast beyond all measure, that He should give His only Son to make a wretch his treasure.”

We cannot fathom that kind of love, can we?

That is Agape love and although we’re called as Christians to have that kind of love for our spouses, friends, family and enemies, Agape love does not come naturally to us.  Because of our fallen nature, we are incapable of producing such a love.  If we are to love as God loves – with agape love – we can only do so if we tap into its very Source.  This is the love that “has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” when we became His children (Romans 5:5). “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (1 John 3:16).  It is because of God’s love toward us, we are able to love one another.

In Elizabeth’s love poem to her husband, she endeavors to list the many ways in which she loves Robert.  She loves him to the length and breadth and height her soul can reach and also on the level of every day’s quiet need.  She loves him purely and passionately.  She loves him as she once did her saints, and with the smiles and tears of her whole life.  And if God lets her, she will love him more after death than she does while she is living.

“I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.”

God’s power over the body and soul in death seems to be the only thing that Browning acknowledges is stronger than the love she has for her husband.

Such beautiful sentiments to ponder upon for Valentine’s Day, but even Browning’s sonnets fall short of expressing the kind of love we can only experience by being in a personal, intimate relationship with God the Father.

There may be many ways of conveying Love, but Jesus, WHO is LOVE embodied, is the ONLY PERFECT, manifested expression of Love to us,…

And it is In His Word, He writes the perfect Love Letter to us:

 

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/

Posted in Inspiration & Devotion, Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

From the Heart

Posted on February 12, 2017 by Lynn

259x400x3369782d_gif_pagespeed_ic_mr6gw0xg0dI have a little red autograph book that I have had since I was a kid.  Throughout school and into my college years I collected signatures and autographs from family, friends and sports heroes.  The first entry in my book are these words my mother wrote to me the Christmas of 1967:

“Dear Lynn!

When you were born, you cried, and people around you smiled.  May your life be such that when you leave you smile, and people around you are crying!”

Certainly when I read those words I thought that my little book would be filled with poignant blessings and sentimental poetry that would inspire and uplift me.  She adds this little ditty two pages later:

“Dear Lynn!

When you get tired of T.V. shows, climb up a tree and talk to the crows!”

That sort of set the tone for the rest of the book:

My brother Jack wrote:

“If I had a rifle, this is what I’d do, I’d tranquilize an old bear and take it to the zoo.”

Another “friend” wrote in June 1968:

“When you are tired and out of shape, remember girdles are $2.98.”

Dianne

Or how about this one my friend Tanya wrote to me in grade nine?  We were in the middle of watching the Stanley Cup playoffs and my favorite team at the time was the Montreal Canadiens:

“Just think, that if you were –

As good as Guy Lafleur

I’d never see you at all

‘Cause you’d be in Montreal!

….even the traditional “Roses are red” sentiment was distorted by another “friend”:

“Roses are red,

Violets are green,

You have a figure like a

Washing machine!”

*sigh*

You would think that based on those little rhymes I would have given up on finding that perfect heart-felt wording from someone that is usually found on the inside of a Hallmark card.  No such luck.  If I thought that I would have romantic poetry spewed in my direction I was sadly disappointed.  I had my eye on a certain handsome naval lieutenant in  the summer of 1977 and I thought surely this man might have some romantic poetic potential:

“To my dearest Lynn,”  (Certainly this started off as promising…)

When I return next year,  I hope you’re still free;

If not I’ll go as high as $1.49.”

Steve.

Word of advice guys…those words will NEVER win over a girl’s heart!

Flash forward to February 1978.  A new school term had just started at the University of Victoria where I was studying education.  I was busily scouring the book shelves at the bookstore, looking for the text books I needed for my courses.  Charles and I had only been dating for a very short time…enough time to know that there was a spark between us, but still not enough time to commit to saying we were in a “relationship”.  (This was waaaaaay before Facebook don’t you know.)  My “boyfriend” looked politely bored as he watched me go up and down the aisles.  He had a physics paper to write later for his class, and he seemed more interested in the Hot Rod magazines on the rack at the front desk than anything else.  I took idle note of the Valentine hearts dangling from strings around the store.  Valentine’s Day had never been one of my most favorite days of the year.  I had a small collection of silly cards that potential suitors thought would win my heart…they were wrong.  I hadn’t known Charles that long and so far, Charles’ only written communication to me was a hastily written note left on the windshield of my car.  “I’ll meet you later at the Student’s Union Building for coffee.  ‘C’ ”  Based on that I wasn’t holding out much hope that he would be that poetry-writing Romeo I was hoping for.  After all one of our first dates was me passing him wrenches while he put a new transmission into his hopped up muscle car.

I glared at him as he pulled a car magazine from the rack and I harumphed at him and batted a floating heart with irritation as I went in search of yet another textbook at the back of the store.

Five minutes later, I had my books in my hand and we walked towards the door.

“Here.” he said.

I thought he was offering to take my heavy bag of books but instead he handed me a little plastic pin.  It still had it’s tiny little price tag on it: 39 cents.Valentine's Pin

LOVE

That’s all.  He looked at me and smiled shyly.  His eyes spoke volumes.  LOVE.

I have worn that little plastic LOVE pin every Valentine’s Day since!  All my life I had been looking for romantic poetry with  flowery sentiment but every Valentine’s Day since 1978 I’m reminded that only one word really matters when it comes from the heart: LOVE.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Posted in Family Life, Inspiration & Devotion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Complete-a-Series Disorder

Posted on February 10, 2017 by Lynn

complete-a-series-disorderI have been doing some early spring cleaning this past week…even though this past week we had yet another Alberta blizzard hit us, making it obvious that Winter is still upon us.

But I digress….

I decided to clean out my book shelves in the middle of this cleaning frenzy. With thousands of books downloaded on my Kindle, I realized that some of my books appear so redundant (and lonely) to be sitting on my bookshelves collecting dust, so I decided to sell some great book series I have accumulated, and donate the rest of my books to charity.

It is painful for me to let go of those dusty books because I still remember the pure joy and pleasure I had when I read each story. I remember times and places I read each book, some read while sitting on a beach, or house boating, or camping, or just curled up in my favorite chair on those long winter nights. Some were given to me as gifts when I was in the hospital battling breast cancer and I found reading to be a great distraction and comfort to me while awaiting and undergoing treatments.

I have an eclectic taste in books so I have Christian, Historical Romance, Science Fiction, Classics and some Young Adult series. I’ve got devotionals, biographies and autobiographies. Reading has always been my passion ever since I was a little girl. For one glorious summer in Grade Seven I read as many of the Edgar Rice Burrough’s Tarzan books as I could get a hold of. Another summer it was Trixie Belden books, and of course the entire collection of Lucy Maud Montgomery’s “Anne of Green Gables” series. Then I went through my “Bruno and Boots” (Gordon Korman) phase, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia and when my kids wanted to read some of the popular series of the day, I decided to preview them first so I read the Harry Potter Books, the Twilight series and the Hunger Games.

The thing with any book series is that once I start reading one I need to read every book in the series. It’s a compulsion I have. Even if I don’t really care for some of the books in a series, if I know there’s a couple more to follow, I just have to read the next one. It must be a reading disorder I have…”Complete-a-Series Disorder” I call it.

Which led me to quite a dilemma a few years ago. I found seventeen of a nineteen book series in a used book store: Peter Danielson’s, The Children of the Lion series. Written in the early eighties by several authors, it is a series loosely based on Old Testament stories. I decided to buy the set and read a few of the books and I immediately got “hooked” on the series. Then came the disquieting realization that I was missing #15 and the last book of the series #19. I looked everywhere for the elusive books and finally in desperation emailed the author and he graciously sent me a link to where I could order the books! Yay! He did however, tell me that the series is not complete because the publisher refused to publish more of the series beyond the 19th book.

I have yet to actually sit down and read the last few books of the series fearing I will never get over this feeling of “incompleteness” and disappointment when a series ends without a good conclusion.  Like the way I felt at the end of the T.V. series “Lost”.

Anyway, it did get me thinking if there are other people with the “Complete-a-series Disorder” like me? Leave a comment and tell me what series you got “hooked” on and just had to finish.

Posted in Proverbs 16:9 - Journey Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment