What has changed from yesterday to today? The sun rose on schedule this morning as it did yesterday. I woke up beside my husband this morning and asked, “Good morning, how did you sleep?” The same words I had spoken to him yesterday. We dressed, had breakfast and he headed to work. All very normal, all very routine, all very mundane except this morning we know I have cancer and yesterday we hoped I didn’t.
I got the pathology report back yesterday and although I don’t pretend to understand all the medical terminology in it, “positive endometrial carcinoma” I understand. One lymph node shows positive carcinoma, both ovaries, although removed by surgery, also positive for carcinoma. I think I understand by the confusing numbers that the cancer is described as “Stage 1” on a scale of 1-4. A Stage “4” being the worst prognosis I could have gotten. That means we caught it early…hopefully.
I meet with my family doctor on June 11 and then at the cancer clinic on June 20th to discuss treatment options but I’ve done my research and know chemotherapy is the recommended treatment.
I’ve travelled that road before. April – June, 2001, I underwent four rounds of chemo after my breast cancer diagnosis. My oldest daughter was sixteen years old then, my son was eight, and my youngest daughter was five and in kindergarten. My two youngest don’t remember much about that time; God mercifully protected them from worrying or wondering what was happening to their Mom. My oldest though would call my cancer experience a “defining” time for her. “I was sixteen, but I did not have the knowledge or faith like I do now.” She recently shared with me. “It was your first diagnosis that put me on that path because I saw you live out your trust and faith.”
She has been proactive ever since in getting yearly mammograms and understanding that her risk factor for getting breast cancer, and now ovarian cancer, is increased with my diagnoses. She is proactive but she’s not fearful. She knows God is in control no matter the circumstance. If she learned that lesson by watching how I faced cancer then and how I intend to face it now…well…I praise God!
I now pray my two youngest will also walk by faith, not by sight as they too travel this new cancer road with me. I pray my grandchildren will see their grandma praise God through the valleys as well as the mountaintops. I pray for complete and total healing, and for many more years to give testimony to His faithfulness. God is in control!
Today, in my morning devotions I read Habakkuk 3:18-19 “yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.”
Let that be my song today!
I was noticing the dust starting to accumulate around me. A small spider was doing acrobatics over my head and all I could do was watch his dangling antics parked as I was in my lounger unable to do much about him or the dust trampoline he eventually landed on.
It’s been one week now since my undergoing major surgery to remove a fast-growing mass on my right ovary. I’m well into recovery mode now, parked for most of the day in my lounger, being waited on by my sweet husband who always goes above and beyond for me. I feel like I should be able to do more, but my body says “rest”. I know my limitations. My church family lavishes meals, cards and encouragement on me! My kids check on me everyday and my grandbabies give gentle hugs and wonder why I’m in my jammies when they visit. It’s a temporary new normal, I tell them.
Lynn Dove's Journey Thoughts 